All inside the dance of love with a Two Spirit
October 31, 2016

All inside the dance of Love with a Two Spirit.. I find myself reflecting now of another place in which the vision was revealed that she would be a Two Spirit…

Just before I met her in this life, when I thought she was a he.. I had been driving down the road when a portal opened and I saw a Rainbow Flame,.. I went WOW, and then a second portal opened and another Rainbow Flame appeared.. on the eve of Thanksgiving..

rainbow-twin-flames
(picture is from a book I wrote to Lakota when I thought she was a male.. it was called My Life as a Fairy Tale… and was the story of how she had been delivered by a Cougar to the Aisle of the Twin Flames and was sitting at the well when a guy sat down beside her, on the other side. He was weeping inside his spirit over the course his life had run, and calling out in search of her to come,

his one true love..

(Her one True love…)

star-dancer-one-one-true-love

Honoring the Star Dancer.. journey with my Cheyenne Two Spirit love
October 31, 2016

I don’t know that I will find time to complete this, but I have to make my honoring by attempting to draw it out… and it also seems to fall in line with the dream of the green sun with its 3 moons… It is the continuation from a story that began in 2004 with my Twin Flame.. It was a vision that lasted 6 weeks or so and involved me seeing a Eagle Dancer and a Star Dancer (in 2004) Following behind Grandfather of the Wolf Clan who apparently it was important that the Dragon show up for this particular picture I tried to draw this weekend..

I don’t have time write it out but as I look at this picture it appears to be a continuation from the dream of the green sun with the 3 moons.. As the story of my life goes I was walking along, from the time I was 12 thinking that my love was with a man… and discovering that my one true love is a Two Spirit took me to a new dimension of thinking… a New World has opened up before me…. and all my drawing should begin to reflect this new world…

 

I have a lot on my mind right now, with looking the ethers to peer down upon Standing Rock and the Sioux Nation… Calling out to the Star people, “This is what is needed” but I wanted to make certain I took a moment to attempt to draw this honoring song for my Love, she is the Star Dancer from my 2004 vision… My heart holds her close again… She has returned from her journey…

 

star-dancer

This vision is much longer than I imagine.  As I look down this portal through time I remember when the story of the Eagle dancer was given to me in a vision in 1994.  A bunch of Artist had showed up at my house and were sitting around drawing..  so I had joined them and was sitting drawing a picture of an Eagle when suddenly I realized that I had drawn a head dress.. and as I was drawing her face within the head dress I saw the words, “And at the end of the Story the Dancing Bird Goddess makes her leap  of faith from the Edge of the Precipice and is transformed into an Eagle….

My story with my Rainbow Twin Flame Two Spirit is a love story that began before she appeared..

dancingbirdgoddess_destiny

Making the transition to see who people are on the inside ~Two Spirit Twin Flame journey
October 30, 2016

In my Twin Flame journey I believe I have arrived at the place where I have undergone the transition so I can see who people are on the inside.

Having never been attracted to females and then falling in love with the girl on the inside has been my journey this year.  It is my Spirit Bear who has guided this journey, instructing me to look back into my dreams with this new information and I would see Lakota was always there inside my dreams..

I recently had a dream that this girl walked past me as I was singing, “She keeps me warm” by Mary Lambert.  The girl stops and demands to know why I am singing that song.  Then she rattles off a bunch of singers names which baffle me as I only really listen to Native American Music.  With this she turns on her heels and stomps off saying, “You don’t belong here.  You are definitely not one of us.”  To which I respond, “No but my girlfriend is.”

In this year of re-examination of my dreams, (of which there are several) one of the dreams that foretold a transition that would take place within me had to do with a dream from the early 2000’s in which in my dream I was walking with Lakota, only seeing the male energy, when suddenly Lakota does this 2 steps back and off to the side zig zag motion  and disappears into another dimension…  so of course I follow what I believe is the man of my dreams into this other dimension, but upon arriving I cannot see ‘him’ and simply awaken..

metamorhis-1There was another dream in which I came to a river and a stone appeared so I leapt onto it… then another and another until I found myself in the middle of the River standing on the edge of a great beam.  Lakota was there too, not recognizing me, not noticing me.  We were both being required to make a leap of faith, when Lakota simply stepped back off the ledge and disappeared into the water..  so there again I followed suite and we swam down to the bottom of the River where we found a building and went inside.

My perception of the male Lakota disappeared into a back room but I was completely fascinated bymetamorphis the furniture in the room, a chaise lounge stood back by the door..  it had really pretty feet.  And there was a computer desk there that had the same feet..  As I was standing there  memorizing the furniture Lakota came back into the room.

Then the Earth began to shake so fiercely that the furniture picked up its feet and ran away..

metamorhis-2Outside the picture window there appeared a girl.  She was struggling hard as she swam back and forth until the pressure imploded the picture window.  Standing in the room now was a beam of light.  She immediately swam to it, dived into it, and metamorphosed into a light being.

Lakota followed her, diving into the light beam and metamorphosed into a light being..  And I thinking this was also what I was being called to do stepped into the light beam and meta-morphed into a light being..

This is not the only dream, but one of many.  Recently I was at the used store and to my amazement, I came across the Chaise Lounge from my dream.. calling me to remember this dream…  calling me to look with different eyes into where I am at in my journey with my Two Spirit Love…

metamorhis-3

 

 

Twin Flames ~forced to the next level of growth
September 6, 2016

Love dances and pulls me close

Love dances and pushes me apart

And forces me into our next level of growth

But when she does that thing

That only she would take the time to do

A dance so sacred

In one swift move

I look down to see

She is all inside my heart..

Walking her friend home

Walking her friend home

I needed to come back and share the twists and turns of this journey with my Twin Flame..  Life is a growing process.. we have to keep moving forward.  The work of opening a path is of great importance, so even if I should happen to experience moments when it feels like I am fighting against all odds as my world is being shaken and torn apart, and rebuilt into something different, I still feel compelled to share the journey.

There are twists in this journey since last May that I have only now come to a place where I have a glimmer of retrospection.

Before then, we were traveling along, her spirit body came into my dreams and slept with me there.  I could feel her every second of the day.  Through vibrational changes I could tell when she was thinking of me.  I could feel her so close.  It was there I fell in love with the soft soft of her Two Spirit divine feminine for she is a Cheyenne Two Spirit, and in my current life I have never loved a woman like that..

Last May she took a journey that she was all excited to take as she prepared to take it.  Then she left for the weekend and when she came back her whole world had been shattered and torn apart.  Inside of her head she was screaming.   Then she put on a goodbye song to me and told me that she was leaving and that I would be ok…

Then she left…  and while I could still feel the remnants of her sweet fragrance, the one who held me so softly in the night was gone, and she now stood hidden behind her male energy..  (When she told me she was leaving she said that if she did not grow from this..well she had to leave because she had to grow from this.)

For me there was no disconnect button.  I held onto her even though my heart felt like it was breaking.  I transformed myself into a River Song and followed the Blue Butterfly who was determined that I was going to continue my journey with her sister..

I drifted along with her until one day I discovered that there was a girl inside my heart weeping, and that girl was me.  So I just went to my Twin Flame and said, “I have to go away now.”  So I hit the ‘disconnect’ button..  and went away to weep..

She followed me, arriving in another place where she sang her song until I quit weeping and hit the ‘reconnect’ button..

After that I could feel her move close and pull apart, move close and pull apart.

I found this to be difficult and disheartening, as the days stretched out between ‘move close and pull apart’ I began to grow weary and longed for the Great Bear who guides me through my Winters sleep to show up and just let me dream into the next year.

I had been singing her my River Song, through pictures, without words…  and when I arrived at some of the pictures she would make them her Icon too… so we would share heart pictures.. and then when I arrived at Lion Pictures, well, she pretty well stayed connected to me there..

but still there was no meaningful exchange.  She did not return to me the love I felt.  And the one sidedness of my connection to her began to feel like a wound upon my heart as she was caught in a loop pulling me close and pushing me away.  I could not strike out at her.  She is ultra sensitive when someone strikes out at her, but inside my spirit I was thinking, “People are always thinking I am unbreakable, but they are are wrong.  I am breakable, and I feel broken here in this place.  So now I just need to go find the Bear (even though it is months before he will show up) and find my medicine in my dreams.”

So I went to her, and as beautifully and as elegantly as I could put it I told her, “You are all inside my heart and I can’t stop that…  I am going to the Bears cave to await the journey..  If you should happen to miss me, I am but a click away..  Going to explore the dream time”

Then without disconnecting from her I left.  I did not look her way, in the way that she could see I was looking, but I still watched her from a distance to see if she continued to keep our matching Lion pictures up..

I left, went to dream and awoke to find myself staring at a Green Sun with 3 Moons…  It was a picture that I knew I had to get down on paper..  and that day, when I went to see if she was still carrying the our Lion picture I saw that she had changed her picture to another girls picture..

My first reaction was “she is telling me that she found somebody new” that when she said she was leaving she was already gone…  but there was this dream that was calling to me, one that I knew I had to paint, so I knew that I should just watch and see where the story traveled to next.  I needed to stay in my medicine and continue painting the picture from the dream..  so I changed my icon to the unfinished picture from the dream..

The next day sh comes back with another picture of the girl and says that her friend passed away yesterday…

There has been this underlying thought within me all along, ever since she left, but Blue Butterfly told me not to leave (regardless of the struggle against what feels like pain) I have had this feeling that the transformation of the Twin Flame journey requires a devotion of friendship to each other.

In the beginning, when she left so abruptly, it was clear to me that friendship was being required of me, but it is with this last event that I can see that in the same way she is learning about how to hold a friendship with me..

Inside my dream

 

It is like my lesson in friendship is to have the faith to let go when she says she needs to tend to something…

and her lesson in friendship with me is ‘this is how to tell her you have something you need to tend to so that her heart will not feel broken when you are gone..

 

Coming into the heart of the Two Spirit
April 12, 2016

I am coming into a deeper understanding of why I would be given a work of opening a path to the sacredness of the Two Spirit Nation. My love, Lakota, is a Cheyenne Two Spirit. The wound inside the heart of the Two Spirit Nation is deep. Yesterday I watched a video on Two Spirits that said when the Indian Nation was being taken over by the Christian Nation, the Christian Nation only had definition for 2 genders. If you had female parts you were female, and if you had male parts you were assigned as male. The Two Spirits were revered amongst the Indian Nations and given special place that was easy for the White conquers to recognize. It was said that the White conquers took with them these big dogs and when they would come across a Two Spirit they would to attack and maul them to death…

This morning I woke up weeping over what I found yesterday as to what happened to the gentle hearted Two Spirits…

When I was young I wept a lot over the prejudice I would witness in the Christian Nation… I was this girl with the gift of vision, crying all the time over the prejudice I would witness. I had these Indians within me, guiding me in my walk. In my tears I would ask them what was so special about me they would walk with me when I cried all the time. They would tell me I was a great warrior, and that there was great power in my tears.

The Two Spirit people have a very gentle heart.. for their healing I weep. I am proud to open this path for them through my tears…

I am honored to hold the love a of Two Spirit