Archive for the ‘Cheyenne’ Category

Mermaid Island, a spiritual retreat,
June 6, 2017

 

I have gone to Mermaid Island on a spiritual journey, spiritual retreat… It is the place where I lived in our passage through Lemuria.. I will be searching through time for my memories from that life…

Once we set our mind on something, it will cause the path to open before us..

and thus through my dreams and ‘seeings’ I will be be able to access memories from there…

I found myself in a dream from there this morning, but I was not able to bring it out with me…

but the thought is crossing my mind, as I swan down the corridor that we lived in the caves.. that was as much of the dream as I was able to bring out

I have a feeling the Hawk.. and the Blue Butterfly will both have appearances on this journey…. along with the water dragon with golden light in its hair…

Journey to Mermaid Island ~A Two Spirit Journey
June 4, 2017

by Destiny
Life happens… changes happen .. it is very important that we honor the changes..
 
the painting of this picture was a journey of discovery that all began with a mistake.. this was a mermaid lesson on line that I was painting and after getting the sun, sky and dragon stone painted I drew in the rainbow haired mermaid.. Then I noticed it was all blank to the right of her and thought, ‘well I will just add a second mermaid. Got her all outlined and I still had a 1/4th of the canvas to fill… so I thought I will put a flower in the second mermaids hair and have the limbs of a tree coming down to fill the rest of the space…
 
As this happened a book begin to form in my mind and the pictures I could paint in this book so I began to have a look see at the symbols the Earth was giving presently around me and saw the Honey Suckle in the Tree who came to visit me and share her message with me…..
 
So then I knew that in the next picture the water dragon will appear with me.. and with my love, an amazing Star Fish in her hand that she is showing me…
 
In the course of painting this picture I did some research to look at various mermaid head dresses and discovered that there are a multitude of Two Spirit who are Mermaids… (and they need to be part of this honoring song also)
 
and then today I did some research to see what a group of mermaids is called… I found, to my amazement a passage that one in 3 mermaids is infertile and will spend her life running with her sister.. or friend… or lover such as I and my Two Spirit Love who happens to be my Twin Spirit (according to the Eagles in my dream) making us born in the Womb of Creation together as Twins…
 
#Cheyenne #TwoSpirit #TwinSpirit

Sometimes Love is a Butterfly, lessons from a Two Spirit Journey
April 18, 2017

This Two Spirit love.. pictures from the journey

This is from last summer when she came home traumatized and said she had to leave, that what she once believed was no longer true and she had to go find herself.. and grow

I had responded with I will leave also, and thinking that I would go somewhere else I found myself in a sea of clover with a blue butterfly dancing at my feet. The Blue Butterfly showed a Y in the path and said, “you can go right and there will be food there, or left and there will be food there also”

So I left the path where I was going to leave her, changed my name to River Song and told her the Blue Butterfly was the path I would follow in a sing a long…

Two Spirits are amazing. She disappeared behind her masculine energy and her gentle feminine would not touch me from inside the place she had gone to heal…

She sent me pictures from inside the forest where she had gone to heal..  And I sent her pictures of the butterfly traveling along the River Song… There were mermaids in that river, and fairies and magical trees, and a dark forest where one could get lost endlessly..

Then I dreamed she was returning… though she still was holding herself so far from me…. so I rejoiced in the knowing and sang exuberantly… while she pretended not to notice I was dancing by myself waiting for her to step back out of the forest where she had gone to find herself…

That moment, when she came back and found me still sitting there waiting for her…. I believe it was the moment love was reborn in her heart…

Sometimes things happen in life that can tear us apart, leave us shattered and torn… and sometimes it takes a butterfly to heal that pain….

Two Spirit Love, divine unveiling
March 20, 2017

This human mind is a virgin to the Two Spirit world. In ways I cannot define I accepted the belief reality of this world, even while other parts of myself could see through the prejudice, the hate, the fear, I could see easily see there and know my calling was to choose the path that led to love.

A world beyond 2 sexes never crossed my mind to question it reality, and its legitimacy as reality.

Now here I am having completed one whole puzzle (why the spirit Indians began walking with me in the 4th grade) I have now been given a second one to put together. This beautiful puzzle who we call Two Spirit Love in her divine unfolding.

One of my observations in this great unfolding, especially in the last year is the fact that when she feels less than safe in her divine feminine, or when she feels she needs some special protection she will step behind the essence of her male energy and allow him to protect her while she tries to find a way to heal.

So I now understand that the reason I met my Two Spirit Love walking fully in her male energy was because her heart had been shattered and broken and at a loss to know what to do or how to carry on without the safety of her comfort zone she had slipped behind the veil into the safety zone of her male energy to allow him to protect her..

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Every day I allowed the honor of walking with her it becomes more and more clear what medicine Two Spirit people brought to our Tribes..  They teach us how to walk in balance within ourselves.  So often we think we are only one sex, or the other, and we do not see that we are both, all of us.  We all have the feminine nurturer and the masculine protector within all of us.  It is the medicine of the Two Spirit to remind us of how to find balance inside of ourselves.


All inside the dance of love with a Two Spirit
October 31, 2016

All inside the dance of Love with a Two Spirit.. I find myself reflecting now of another place in which the vision was revealed that she would be a Two Spirit…

Just before I met her in this life, when I thought she was a he.. I had been driving down the road when a portal opened and I saw a Rainbow Flame,.. I went WOW, and then a second portal opened and another Rainbow Flame appeared.. on the eve of Thanksgiving..

rainbow-twin-flames
(picture is from a book I wrote to Lakota when I thought she was a male.. it was called My Life as a Fairy Tale… and was the story of how she had been delivered by a Cougar to the Aisle of the Twin Flames and was sitting at the well when a guy sat down beside her, on the other side. He was weeping inside his spirit over the course his life had run, and calling out in search of her to come,

his one true love..

(Her one True love…)

star-dancer-one-one-true-love

Honoring the Star Dancer.. journey with my Cheyenne Two Spirit love
October 31, 2016

I don’t know that I will find time to complete this, but I have to make my honoring by attempting to draw it out… and it also seems to fall in line with the dream of the green sun with its 3 moons… It is the continuation from a story that began in 2004 with my Twin Flame.. It was a vision that lasted 6 weeks or so and involved me seeing a Eagle Dancer and a Star Dancer (in 2004) Following behind Grandfather of the Wolf Clan who apparently it was important that the Dragon show up for this particular picture I tried to draw this weekend..

I don’t have time write it out but as I look at this picture it appears to be a continuation from the dream of the green sun with the 3 moons.. As the story of my life goes I was walking along, from the time I was 12 thinking that my love was with a man… and discovering that my one true love is a Two Spirit took me to a new dimension of thinking… a New World has opened up before me…. and all my drawing should begin to reflect this new world…

 

I have a lot on my mind right now, with looking the ethers to peer down upon Standing Rock and the Sioux Nation… Calling out to the Star people, “This is what is needed” but I wanted to make certain I took a moment to attempt to draw this honoring song for my Love, she is the Star Dancer from my 2004 vision… My heart holds her close again… She has returned from her journey…

 

star-dancer

This vision is much longer than I imagine.  As I look down this portal through time I remember when the story of the Eagle dancer was given to me in a vision in 1994.  A bunch of Artist had showed up at my house and were sitting around drawing..  so I had joined them and was sitting drawing a picture of an Eagle when suddenly I realized that I had drawn a head dress.. and as I was drawing her face within the head dress I saw the words, “And at the end of the Story the Dancing Bird Goddess makes her leap  of faith from the Edge of the Precipice and is transformed into an Eagle….

My story with my Rainbow Twin Flame Two Spirit is a love story that began before she appeared..

dancingbirdgoddess_destiny

Making the transition to see who people are on the inside ~Two Spirit Twin Flame journey
October 30, 2016

In my Twin Flame journey I believe I have arrived at the place where I have undergone the transition so I can see who people are on the inside.

Having never been attracted to females and then falling in love with the girl on the inside has been my journey this year.  It is my Spirit Bear who has guided this journey, instructing me to look back into my dreams with this new information and I would see Lakota was always there inside my dreams..

I recently had a dream that this girl walked past me as I was singing, “She keeps me warm” by Mary Lambert.  The girl stops and demands to know why I am singing that song.  Then she rattles off a bunch of singers names which baffle me as I only really listen to Native American Music.  With this she turns on her heels and stomps off saying, “You don’t belong here.  You are definitely not one of us.”  To which I respond, “No but my girlfriend is.”

In this year of re-examination of my dreams, (of which there are several) one of the dreams that foretold a transition that would take place within me had to do with a dream from the early 2000’s in which in my dream I was walking with Lakota, only seeing the male energy, when suddenly Lakota does this 2 steps back and off to the side zig zag motion  and disappears into another dimension…  so of course I follow what I believe is the man of my dreams into this other dimension, but upon arriving I cannot see ‘him’ and simply awaken..

metamorhis-1There was another dream in which I came to a river and a stone appeared so I leapt onto it… then another and another until I found myself in the middle of the River standing on the edge of a great beam.  Lakota was there too, not recognizing me, not noticing me.  We were both being required to make a leap of faith, when Lakota simply stepped back off the ledge and disappeared into the water..  so there again I followed suite and we swam down to the bottom of the River where we found a building and went inside.

My perception of the male Lakota disappeared into a back room but I was completely fascinated bymetamorphis the furniture in the room, a chaise lounge stood back by the door..  it had really pretty feet.  And there was a computer desk there that had the same feet..  As I was standing there  memorizing the furniture Lakota came back into the room.

Then the Earth began to shake so fiercely that the furniture picked up its feet and ran away..

metamorhis-2Outside the picture window there appeared a girl.  She was struggling hard as she swam back and forth until the pressure imploded the picture window.  Standing in the room now was a beam of light.  She immediately swam to it, dived into it, and metamorphosed into a light being.

Lakota followed her, diving into the light beam and metamorphosed into a light being..  And I thinking this was also what I was being called to do stepped into the light beam and meta-morphed into a light being..

This is not the only dream, but one of many.  Recently I was at the used store and to my amazement, I came across the Chaise Lounge from my dream.. calling me to remember this dream…  calling me to look with different eyes into where I am at in my journey with my Two Spirit Love…

metamorhis-3

 

 

Love with a Two Spirit
October 19, 2016

Love with a Two Spirit
Her love make me feel like the Earth… and her love makes me feel crazy all at once.
I have found myself feeling the highest high and the lowest low with her and then she comes back and I realize we are standing in the ebb and flow of high tide and low tide… And I think one of these days I will no longer freak out when she leaves and will spread my legs in joyous anticipation when she returns to my naked land to again feel her naked waters running over me again in Heavenly Perceptions..
My love (who is a Cheyenne Two Spirit) has returned to me again. It can be a hard cold bitter world being a Two Spirit, with every thing that must be faced. while the newer generation has worked hard to reopen the path, for the older ones there is much pain to heal.
We were journeying together when she went back to a place that she had traveled to many times. when she came back she did not tell me what happened, she just place me some songs from hell and told me that she had to leave right then and there.
I was hurt and going to leave also, but a butterfly blue showed up and talk to me and told me to follow my Two Spirit.. So I did, even though, in my heart, I felt again as though I had lost hope, for she, my soft on soft had disappeared into her male energy. So I changed my name to River Song and followed them on their journey of silence and words unspoken.
Eventually I moved and began a new journey into the life of carbon monoxide poisoning (though I did not know that was happening until I became really ill) I didn’t know what was wrong but my River Song to her, as I waited for her, began to stop flowing.. and my status magically changed to Sleeping, and I began to sing songs of longing for her to come back.. and entertained her with many Leo pictures.. which began to fall off with the carbon monoxide poisoning when I could no longer hold my focus..
Somewhere inside the dream of this sleep I saw the first movement of her energy changing. she sent me a picture that had some words that said, “When you find someone who makes you feel magical every time they touch you, you should cherish them.”
She did not just suddenly reappear with those words, but they were like the moment she let me know I made her feel magical.. Of course after that I began fading because I was becoming more deeply affected by the carbon monoxide poisoning. It was all I could do to hold my jobs #1 holding prayer for the Lakota Nation, and #2 holding the job that supports me financially. Beyond that I could not hold my focus. And it was not until after I figure out what was making my brain to swell so big that I could not get my neutrons to fire properly that I was able to find my way back to again feeling like a River Song singing to her…
she has this way about her. She does not speak with spoken words to say what is going on but instead she sends pictures to speak for her. she sent me a picture representing her and in her hand was a bubble. In the bubble was I. In another of the group a woman had gone into the forest… and in another a woman sitting at the edge of the forest, waiting… so in her way she told me that she saw me sitting there the whole time waiting for her to find herself and return and that I had traveled with her as she made her journey..
Then in the moments just before her return to me I found myself in the memory of a vision I was given in 2004… when I was 13 (in 1969) I got molested by a family member. In that moment my innocence was stolen and in years ahead I had to take a journey to have a seed from the Tree of Forgiveness be emplanted into my heart for I simply could not forgive the man who did that to me.
In time he had grown old, but he seemed to be afraid to pass from this world and regressed back to his childhood..
In the meantime I was a girl of vision, trying to follow the visions, trying to follow the instructions I was given. til at last I arrived at the age of 48 to have my dad call one day and say the relative had been found in a coma lying on the floor…
In that moment I went into vision. I began walking through 3 dimensions all at once.. Now is not the time to write that story out for the vision lasted about 6 weeks and had many details, one of which involved a Ceremony for Healing the last remnants of Past Wounds. I was to take to the man who molested me in my youth the bridge he needed to cross to pass from this world to the next, then I was to travel to the place of my molestation and travel back through time to whisper to my younger self to find my focus in the flower so I could walk away, as I was frozen with what was happeneing,and after that the instructions were that I was to travel to a Sacred Mountain called Manataka and lay my heart upon my Mother.
I was very questioning of why I should do this, (go to Manataka) so I was praying for an answer when a portal opened up and I saw my 13 year old self curled up in fetal position.
In front of me I could see Grandfather of the Wolf Clan. His regalia was the skin of a Wolf, that covered his body with the wolfs head coming over the top of his head. In his hand he held his staff of power which he brought down to the Earth with a power so loud it shook the Earth and sounded like Thunder.
With this, even as he circled me clockwise, he swung his staff and danced counterclockwise as if to say, “Moving forward we will now heal your wounds from the past..
Behind Grandfather of the Wolf Clan came the Eagle Dancer.. and behind the Eagle Dance came the Star Dancer. She was the tallest woman I have seen, very very thin, with long long legs and behind her a trail of Stardust that was the Train of her sparkling white dress. Her hair was braided up in such a way that it had the appearance of a Constellation surrounding her head..
…….
seeing-the-star-dancerIt was in one of the pictures that Lakota sent me that I saw her, the Star Dancer with the long long legs (Lakota is 6’2″ and I am 5’3) and realized the immensity of this journey we are taking.
It is easy to get swept away in feelings of heart break and sadness. Easy to allow ourselves to leave and not continue down the path of the Twins who came to heal a planet and escort it to the 5th dimension.
In love with a Two Spirit I have found myself traveling to the highest highs and the lowest lows.. We try to run away from each other, but I am bound by my contract with the Earth by which if I follow the path she tells me to take I will feel the least amount of pain or discomfort and will achieve the reason for which I was sent, so when she sends her butterfly to guide down the path with my Two Spirit, I am bound by a leap of faith that where she is leading me to is the place where I am being sent.
The life of the Two Spirits, at this time, is mostly torture for their spirits have been torn to shreds and to walk with dignity many times means traveling against the grain of who they are, and trying to find comfort in others who are like them… but they too have been torn to shreds.. so it can be a bit vicious just trying to find some peace in this world..
 
Somewhere in this last journey of being separated from her I came into the knowledge that, no matter how sexually attracted I am to her soft on soft skin on skin I have to give birth to her and I being friends.
 
It may seem that this should have been the logical conclusion all along but there are parts within me that the Earth continues to purify. I have a possessive nature about me, and while some couples hold the same value, Two Spirits think different then non Two Spirits. So anytime my possessive nature has come up she will simply say, “My body is mine to show who I chose to show.”
 
So inside myself I am giving birth to a higher love. Friendship is being required of me even as she has now returned to stand so close I can feel her soft on soft.. whispering
Prayer for Earthlakota-img-20160115-wa0013
2EaglesWalmart110611_Destiny 062813

love, Destiny

Twin Flames ~forced to the next level of growth
September 6, 2016

Love dances and pulls me close

Love dances and pushes me apart

And forces me into our next level of growth

But when she does that thing

That only she would take the time to do

A dance so sacred

In one swift move

I look down to see

She is all inside my heart..

Walking her friend home

Walking her friend home

I needed to come back and share the twists and turns of this journey with my Twin Flame..  Life is a growing process.. we have to keep moving forward.  The work of opening a path is of great importance, so even if I should happen to experience moments when it feels like I am fighting against all odds as my world is being shaken and torn apart, and rebuilt into something different, I still feel compelled to share the journey.

There are twists in this journey since last May that I have only now come to a place where I have a glimmer of retrospection.

Before then, we were traveling along, her spirit body came into my dreams and slept with me there.  I could feel her every second of the day.  Through vibrational changes I could tell when she was thinking of me.  I could feel her so close.  It was there I fell in love with the soft soft of her Two Spirit divine feminine for she is a Cheyenne Two Spirit, and in my current life I have never loved a woman like that..

Last May she took a journey that she was all excited to take as she prepared to take it.  Then she left for the weekend and when she came back her whole world had been shattered and torn apart.  Inside of her head she was screaming.   Then she put on a goodbye song to me and told me that she was leaving and that I would be ok…

Then she left…  and while I could still feel the remnants of her sweet fragrance, the one who held me so softly in the night was gone, and she now stood hidden behind her male energy..  (When she told me she was leaving she said that if she did not grow from this..well she had to leave because she had to grow from this.)

For me there was no disconnect button.  I held onto her even though my heart felt like it was breaking.  I transformed myself into a River Song and followed the Blue Butterfly who was determined that I was going to continue my journey with her sister..

I drifted along with her until one day I discovered that there was a girl inside my heart weeping, and that girl was me.  So I just went to my Twin Flame and said, “I have to go away now.”  So I hit the ‘disconnect’ button..  and went away to weep..

She followed me, arriving in another place where she sang her song until I quit weeping and hit the ‘reconnect’ button..

After that I could feel her move close and pull apart, move close and pull apart.

I found this to be difficult and disheartening, as the days stretched out between ‘move close and pull apart’ I began to grow weary and longed for the Great Bear who guides me through my Winters sleep to show up and just let me dream into the next year.

I had been singing her my River Song, through pictures, without words…  and when I arrived at some of the pictures she would make them her Icon too… so we would share heart pictures.. and then when I arrived at Lion Pictures, well, she pretty well stayed connected to me there..

but still there was no meaningful exchange.  She did not return to me the love I felt.  And the one sidedness of my connection to her began to feel like a wound upon my heart as she was caught in a loop pulling me close and pushing me away.  I could not strike out at her.  She is ultra sensitive when someone strikes out at her, but inside my spirit I was thinking, “People are always thinking I am unbreakable, but they are are wrong.  I am breakable, and I feel broken here in this place.  So now I just need to go find the Bear (even though it is months before he will show up) and find my medicine in my dreams.”

So I went to her, and as beautifully and as elegantly as I could put it I told her, “You are all inside my heart and I can’t stop that…  I am going to the Bears cave to await the journey..  If you should happen to miss me, I am but a click away..  Going to explore the dream time”

Then without disconnecting from her I left.  I did not look her way, in the way that she could see I was looking, but I still watched her from a distance to see if she continued to keep our matching Lion pictures up..

I left, went to dream and awoke to find myself staring at a Green Sun with 3 Moons…  It was a picture that I knew I had to get down on paper..  and that day, when I went to see if she was still carrying the our Lion picture I saw that she had changed her picture to another girls picture..

My first reaction was “she is telling me that she found somebody new” that when she said she was leaving she was already gone…  but there was this dream that was calling to me, one that I knew I had to paint, so I knew that I should just watch and see where the story traveled to next.  I needed to stay in my medicine and continue painting the picture from the dream..  so I changed my icon to the unfinished picture from the dream..

The next day sh comes back with another picture of the girl and says that her friend passed away yesterday…

There has been this underlying thought within me all along, ever since she left, but Blue Butterfly told me not to leave (regardless of the struggle against what feels like pain) I have had this feeling that the transformation of the Twin Flame journey requires a devotion of friendship to each other.

In the beginning, when she left so abruptly, it was clear to me that friendship was being required of me, but it is with this last event that I can see that in the same way she is learning about how to hold a friendship with me..

Inside my dream

 

It is like my lesson in friendship is to have the faith to let go when she says she needs to tend to something…

and her lesson in friendship with me is ‘this is how to tell her you have something you need to tend to so that her heart will not feel broken when you are gone..

 

Dancing Bird Goddess
July 9, 2016

I am packing this morning for my move.. found this picture I drew in 2004 or 2005,, It was from a book I wrote called Journey to the Edge of the Precipice

In a vision, a distant flash, I saw the end of the book as the words came to me, and at the end of the story, the Dancing Bird Goddess leaps off of the edge of the precipice and begins her flight of faith

At the time I was drawing a picture of an Eagle, but when I drew it I could clearly see it was a head dress, so she became the Dancing Bird Goddess.. and then when the end of the story was giving to me I began drawing the Dancing Bird Goddess in all the Eagles of other countries… I just found this one in a box as I was packing..

Dancing Bird Goddess 2004