Archive for the ‘Journey to the Edge of the Precipice’ Category

Year in review, a Dancing Bird Goddess Fairy Tale Twin Flame journey
December 26, 2015

As I work on my year in review it has been an unbelievable year of journeying.  I thought I was headed in one direction, away from all that I believed could be true.  I spent the year letting go of everything, every part of me who had built this hope on the man of my dreams that I saw when I was 12 and saw that at some point our missions were supposed to join

When you are a person who walks out of sync with Time it is a very hard journey.  It is like walking in 2 worlds at once, one with each foot in a different world and each world feels so completely different than the other that the space between is dark and without hope. It is like a living hell, and yet you know that by walking in these 2 worlds at once you are supposed to be the bridge that mends the crack and brings them back together before you are through.

You look out into the one world and there is no hope.  All the people you meet are lost and without hope.  They are a people who are lead by fear to do awful things to each other, doing all they can to exterminate the indigenous Tribes who are the natural born protectors of the planet, doing all that they can to exterminate each other.  They are lead by fear and everywhere you look there is chaos, that is being feed by prejudice against all that is different.

You look into the other world and alls you can do is grab and hold tightly to the glimmers of hope that are revealed..  being lead by a beautiful Indian woman whose instructions were that in all ways I should merge with the Earth and follow the rules that were written upon the Earths body.   Then a second glimmer of hope appeared in a glimpse through time of a man I knew to be my one and only love.  He was showing me the contract he was signing to, come to Earth on a mission, showing me that place where our missions were going to touch.

So I did as I was instructed.  I remained diligent in merging with the Earth and held onto the glimmer of hope that this man, whose presence made my heart sparkle and dance and I were going to reconnect one day and walk together in our mission.

We did not meet in the physical until 2011.  He could remember that he was looking for me but he could not remember that I was the one he was looking for..  And I could not remember him as we sat together that day trying to find our Twin Flames.  The Earth gave me this picture that one day this man would hold my hand in the stars and she bound me to him by having me to cut off my braid and toss it into his dark waters as he was currently walking through the Dark Night of the Soul.  She bound me to him and made me to be his medicine.  And every time she needed me to be the light upon his path she would have the mark left in my hair from cutting off the braid, it would act out and have a mind of its own.

In the meantime she had me on this Kundalini journey telling me she needed me to get lit, that she needed me to head towards my Light Body.  Kundalini is a journey of purification.  It can be very intense having all darkness, all impure ways of believing burned out of you.  It is like being at the black hole at the center of a galaxy watching parts of your belief system, you way of being being sucked into the black hole, to be transformed into something new.  It is very intense.

In the years before 2015 my Twin Flame and I had reconnected, had touched our love again, and just as we began to dance he got word that there was something he had to go do.  We dreamed it together, and even though it tortured him he disappeared into that which he had to go do…

And I was left alone on my Kundalini journey, weeping as the Kundalini was about to burn through my Heart Chakra (for those who have followed my Kundalini journey probably remember)

After that I found myself on a different path, the one that lead to 2015 which was the year of letting go.  I had briefly retouched my Twin Flame after that but again I just bounced off of him and back into another place where I seemed to be learning another lesson.  This lesson of 2015 was about the total and complete letting go of him, letting go of the glimmer of hope I had been holding onto since I was 12 years old that the one who made me sparkle and dance was destined to make me sparkle and dance here on planet Earth.

In  reality we lived on separate continents and each of us had a mission to do that each of us was bound to fulfill.  My mission was to the Lakota Nation, to uplift their prayer, “We shall live again”  .. and his mission to the planet Earth was on the continent he was living on, and honoring that mission was very important to him.  So I had to take a long hard look on it could be that we could both be on the same planet at the same time and not get to be together as lover and friend..

I looked through time and saw there was no time, that time was just an illusion we wore to keep our focus within the realm of a 3 dimensional world where we did our work.  The reality was him and I had loved each other since we were created in the great womb of the great Mother/Father.  There was never a moment that I did not love him, nor a moment that he did not love me.  We had gone on multiple missions together in which we shared the same space, created beautiful stories that were passed from generation to generation.  And we had gone on missions that required that we part, like the one I had gone on 13 generations ago to merge the seer bloodline with the warrior bloodline so that I could incarnate into this time.

Time was just the illusion we had created so that we could experience more with each other, but many got lost in the illusion and believed that this was all there was, so we who did not get caught in the illusion were always accepting missions to go in and build the bridges needed to bring the ones who had gotten lost back.

And in that sense I came to realize that the lesson is in where a person is at in their current moment.  It does not matter where it is at or who it is with.  The lesson is where you are at in the moment you are in.

So I let go.  I let go of any hope that he and I were meant to dance together in sacred union in this life.  I let go to let him be him.  I let go to embrace the life I was in, and the lesson was learning.  And after I completely and totally let go of any glimmer of hope, in the Eagle, in the visions and dreams of him.  All of it.  I let go of it and turned to the learning of the lesson I was in in the moment..  That was the journey of 2015… Letting go..

Then I let go of the lesson of 2015 and that journey came to an end.  It left me free and clear.. unbound ..

Unbound, on day I looked, and there dancing at my feet a little blue butterfly who told me it was time to softly check in with my Twin Flame..  So I jotted him a little note…  and the rest of the story is sheer magic..

In the year 1984, a troupe of Artist had appeared, minstrels and singers strumming their guitars softly.. others playing rock and roll..  Everyone sat around, a little high, it might be said, but all were sacred guest and many got out their pencils and begin to draw so I thought I would join in.


Years earlier I had tried to draw a picture of Isis, and for some reason, that I could not understand I had dressed her with an Eagle on her head.  I could not get the Eagle to come our right so as I sat contemplating what I should draw, I went to the library and got some books with Eagle pictures.  Found one I like and sat down to draw.


by the time I was almost done I realized that I had just draw a Ceremonial Headdress..  So it was time to put her body underneath her head dress..  and as I drew her I heard the words:

And at the end of the story


the Dancing Bird Goddess
stretches out her
wings and begins her
mating song.
She soars high above
the clouds,
aware that the
whose eye she has
caught is close
behind her, but she
is oblivious to 
anything else.

This is her dance. 
This is her song,
the battle she
fought to take
this leap of faith,
the love and laughter
of the lesson, 
the sorrow of so 
long walking alone, 
of never feeling mated,
the innocence of the
search, lost once,
but regained when
she played with the
boys, the dance
that pleased them,
and caught their
attention.  The
connection for the
pleasure that came
with them,
always raising her
head towards the
heavens, divine kiss
from above.

This and more
she sang as she 
danced her mating
song, ever aware
of the 
who so awed her
with his 
gentleness and
his grace
that she made a
come to life
and fly up there
to meet him.


She rolls over 
onto her back and
reaches out 
with her talons
to greet him.
His talons
lock onto hers.
She embraces him
and with
wings spread wide
they tumble towards
the Earth in the
most glorious free-
fall.  And
every time she 
tumbled over onto
her back,
with him on top,
she experienced
inside her body
which made her
dance over
him again.


(((((((  Guess what? )))))))


Rite of Passage dream, the cracking of the codes
August 21, 2013

There is never ending movement here, always creating, always moment.. tis what it is like to be a life supporting Earth. Every action works within the whole..

Rite of Passage!


I was dreaming I was at home when the mailman came and delivered a letter.  Inside the letter was the renewal sticker for my vehicle.  Also inside the envelope were 2 pictures of me SAMSUNGtaken at separate times.  One of them was from 1984 when I lived in California.  I was sitting on the balcony in my light blue short shorts.  And I could see that my panties were showing and whoever took the picture was smiling gleefully.  The second picture was SAMSUNGfrom 10 years later, after the ballerina appeared and danced in front of me and gave me my new dance.  This picture also showed me in a very vulnerable position.  As soon as it occurred to me that someone had been watching me for years I became alarmed, and when I became alarmed the dream split into 2 dreams.

In one dream I had laid the mail down and gone to lay on the couch to watch TV.  The movie I was watching was some kind of horror flick.

In the other dream I was living the movie I was watching.  I saw myself go into the woods with another man.  It seemed he was not so much my ex, but he was a ghost like image I carry of him with me, his memories.  The me, inside the house, saw the one I”ll call X fall onto an ax and then he got back up with the ax sticking out of his head.

The me living the movie knew this was going to happen so when X got close to where the ax lay I yelled a warning for him to stay away from there.  But it was too late.  I watched in horror as he stumbled to the ground and sure enough, when he got up there was an ax stuck in his head.  I went to him and pulled it out.  He seemed to be in a daze.

Somewhere out of sight I heard a motorcycle start up.  I was thinking it was the person who sent me the 2 pictures, that he was coming to get me now and that once he captured me he was going to kill me as soon as he found me.  I felt like I was freaking out.  I felt like he was coming to kill me.

About this time the me that was watching this happen in the movie thought. “Oh I have to turn this horror flick off.  It is scaring me to death.”  The me that was in the woods was helping the part of my X that I carry in my memories into a ditch to hide him so that he could not find me.   I just knew it was his intentions to kill me once he caught me.

As I was laying in the ditch trying to protect X and panicking an old woman and a young sapling appeared.  I was never so happy see someone I recognized as I was at that moment. Rite of Passage AncientTreeSpirit She was a Tree Spirit, an Ancient One who I had hugged before. She was wearing a gray dress that had darker and lighter streaks running up and down it.  I was so grateful for her appearance inside my dream that I ran to her to give her a hug, exclaiming how I was not frightened of her because I recognized her.  I felt great relief as I ran to her to hug her.

She held out her arms to me as I went to embrace her.  She told me that all was not as it was appearing in my dream.  That this dream was about me and “Cha-che-wo-ah ,” the “Rite of Passage” that I had to pass through to get to where I was meant to be.  As she said this she pointed her finger down a path.  But it was like a vision, not a part of this dream.  She held out her hand and from her hand stretched out this path that I had to travel to get to my final destination.  It grew out of her like a limb grows out of a tree.  And this destination felt like home, only I could not find my memories of being there.  I just knew that once I got there it would feel like home. And then she said, “This dream is about you and what you must overcome, the path you must now travel to get to the place you were meant to be. (The place that felt like home.)  It’s your ‘Rite of Passage that you came there to experience.  There is no one trying to kill you.  You are interpreting this dream and your whole life wrong.  This life is about your Cha Chee to Wah, you are here on this planet, in this body as part of your Rite of Passage.’”

About that time I heard the motorcycle coming.  I was still in the mode of feeling frightened of feeling as if the man pursuing me was bent on killing me, so I threw myself into the ditch with my memory of X.

On the motorcycle was a nice looking, dark skinned Indian man with long hair flowing in the wind as it came out of his helmet.  He smiled at me as he drove by.  This made think he was the one who had sent me the pictures.  I was trying to grasp what the Ancient tree spirit had told me, and yet as my terror grew I huddled down in the ditch, thinking the guy was going around to make a pass before attempting to hit me with his motorcycle and killing me..

I turned to the Ancient tree spirit again and asked her, “This dream is not about someone trying to kill me?  This is about my overcoming something as a part of my “Rite of Passage?”  She assured me, “This is about you and you alone.  It is something you must do.  This is your Cha-che-to-wah (phonic spelling) your Rite of Passage.”

With this I found myself  back in my home as if the dream/movie had ended and I had gotten up and was standing beside my bed of water.  It had just been put up and as I looked at it I realized it was all dusty so I decided to clean it and make it pretty.

Sitting on the head piece was a beautiful Indian figurine so lovingly I began to cleanse her.  The more I cleansed her the more pliable she became until soon she was in a very humble position down on her hands and knees.  It was as if she was real and I was the Higher Self who care for her life who was overseeing her cleansing.

Then began a crackling sound.  Her back began to contort and move and as she moved around I could hear more of the cracking of the codes, more snapping, crackling and popping was happening to her all in the region of her back.

Then I heard a loud POP! and with that Wings came up out of her back. and began to spread out as began to lift herself to an upright position.

With this I became aware that there was movement at the bottom of the bed and when I looked around to see where the movement was coming from, I see that the memory of X was in bed with me and he seemed to be struggling against what I was doing.  As he struggled inside his dream I could hear a lullaby playing.

I felt irritated that he was in my bed with me, but the Ancient Tree Spirits words were calling to me, reminding me that this, too was part of my Rite of Passage, my Cha Chee to Wah..

and it felt like they were trying to sing my memories of X to sleep by singing him a lullaby..

With this I awoke..


It was after this dream that they revealed to me that I had come to this Earth as my Rite of Passage because I was to one day take my consciousness and become a life sustaining planet.  In order to take your consciousness as a life sustaining planet one must accept all the life forms that take their abode upon your body….


Which means this loss I am experiencing now must be what this feels like to the Earth…

Earth sense of loss

and translates into a message that I am still doing the Eagle Mating Ritual with the Great Eagle..

I am still inside the story line of the book, Journey to the Edge of the Precipice. (which I saw in a vision in 1994).   I have made my leap of faith from the Edge of the Precipice, have transformed into the Dancing Bird Goddess and I am still singing my song to the Great Eagle..   whose eye is turned to watch me…  and it occurs to me that the reason we are so well mated is because we sing the same song..  it is as if looking into a mirror we reflect each other, the sorrow of the song I listened to coming from him is the song I return as it is the sorrow I am now experiencing as our song mirrors each others song.  I am still inside the story line to the book, still singing they love song it was meant that I sing to the Great Eagle…

Eagle vision
July 22, 2013

This is the first place I have lived where the people have their own Eagle and I am amazed by this journey I am on with this Eagle.

When there is the presence of an Eagle in a town many subdivision will be named in honor of the Eagle. Yesterday I was taking the country road to Wal-Mart’s, when I saw, what I believed was the Great Eagle flying high in the sky. It did not come down low enough to show me its face so that I could tell for sure that this was who I was seeing.

It was a cloudy day and it just kept rising up higher and higher until at last it was so high up that I thought one would need Eagle Vision to be that high in the air and searching for food.

By this time I came to sign in the sub division I was driving through. It was called Eagle’s Glenn.

I only saw one lone Eagle flying round.

anime angel

In the book, My life as a Fairy Tale. I am a fearless warrior, not frightened by a Black Hole.. I was praying for Golden Eagle when the Black Hole appeared so I dove in without fear of the new world that was going to be created within me.

Having thrown myself into the black hole and having come out on the other side I must face an uncertain future with no knowledge of where the future is going to lead me.. and First sign through is One Eagle flying.

Did I tell you I dove into the black hole?
July 21, 2013

black hole 2
There was nothing else to do, she had to dive into the black hole. She had to merge with his pain so that it could undergo the transformation and pass through her like it was suppose to.

She was inside a point of where there were no smiles. One with the pain she felt the loneliness as though Love had been ripped from her heart and she did not know how she could live without his love, did not know how she could smile again or ever feel at peace again.

Inside the passage of Time she could feel him slipping away, turning towards the new path he was on, even as she could feel him lingering she could feel the distance become farther and farther away from her.

Inside of herself she was weeping frantically wondering how she would survive, how she would ever hold her spirit high again as she desperately did not want to have to walk alone again. She was thinking of him, how he would react if he knew that his leaving felt like a ripping apart of her soul. He would say, “but Sweet destiny who I was told to follow, I am following the path you told me to take, doing exactly what you told me to do.” And she would know he was right, that when it was happening she had screamed across their Universe that he must do this now and without hesitation he must go heal that wound… but she did not expect that his leaving would leave her feeling as though Love had been torn from her heart and without his love beside her she was feeling empty and lost. She did not expect that by doing that she was going to enter into the heart of the great sorrow he had experienced for the last 5 years.

She was inside of his pain, and she knew this, she was footsteps behind him upon the same path, traveling down the same path he had traveled down beginning 5 years ago, but she was not feeling noble at all. In her deep sorrow she wanted to hurt someone, hurt the one who had caused him the great pain he had suffered.

She discovered it was just better if she kept her mouth shut in this place, because when she would try to speak her lips would betray her and reveal what her heart was feeling. When she would hear herself discussing with her friends what had happened with such bitterness, she knew that she was not as noble as him because in the whole time she had been walking with him never once had he surrendered to bitter talk, only he to the expression of pain did he express. He did not resort to speaking of the one who broke his heart in ugly words ever, but his focus remained upon his children and the pain he felt to not be near them. So as Destiny followed behind him in his footsteps, having now absorbed his pain into her she could see that he was better than her, much more noble he than she for inside her raging tears she could show no one for the loss was too great, and to speak on it made bitter medicine fall from her lips. So she had to hold it all inside of her and not let it out let it betray her and become a bitter pill to swallow.

She could feel it really strong at work when she did not have time to think about how empty she felt inside. She would find herself suddenly bursting into tears, but she was not willing to let anyone see her weeping from the emptiness.

Inside her also she kept being confronted with the feeling of wanting to run away and flee the pain. She did not want to suffer to walk alone without love standing close next to herwhen signs appear heart. She wanted to flee, to run away from this pain but it was not allowed. She was a girl who watched the signs, listened closely to what momma told her and above all she watched the signs. And everything inside of her was saying that no matter how hopeless this appeared that she was not allowed to flee but must travel on through to the other side.  She kept being told this all was part of their journey, no matter how hopeless it looked, she was not to be allowed to run away.

As the days passed, her misery increased. It felt like Time was standing still, each second without him felt like an eternity of tearing as they spit apart from each other.. his love from hers and hers from him, the sacred dance they had performed together slipping into its place of distant memory, making her burst into tears at unexpected places, making her heart ache with despair, leaving her feeling cut off from him, from everyone, making her want to go Home and stop experiencing the human expression.

Finally she knew that she was going to have to travel within to see why it was that she was becoming so lost inside this grief. On one side she had all this logic that spoke her of endless time, of endless love, of countless missions they had performed together, of her knowledge that he needed to travel down this path to heal this wound for the wound was a brokenness that was inside of him.

On the other side she was lost inside of her grief and could not reconcile the years of emptiness that faced her on the road ahead. There was an endless possibilities of endings to this story and each of them left feeling like she needed to find the exit door. That she just needed to go Home. That Love was not going to find her worthy but continue to beat up upon her spirit and show her its face in others but never its face in her reflection.

It was her decision to go in search of the source of her great loss and grief that lead her to a room inside of her darkness where she found a door that she softly opened. Inside the room, lying in a crumpled heap on the floor was her inner child weeping. She was feeling that once upon a time Love had lighted upon her path and she had touched it and then watched as Love had been torn from her grasp while she stood, like a friend that some said she could not have any more and had ripped him from her while she stood there helpless without anyone to protect her from it happening or could find noone to comfort her inside her tears of grief for the loss.

And I, Destiny, standing in the doorway, watching her laying there weeping in a heap of despair felt a moment of helplessness. She was my inner child and I was responsible for her well being but how could I help her when I was so lost inside my sorrow, when I was feeling that everything I held sacred was being torn from me, lost in this black vacuum of darkness with all feelings of sacredness being torn from my heart. All the memories along the way of the journey to Loves heart, all the visions I had held in sacred trust, all being torn from me inside this black hole that I was now in.

How could I help her when I myself was lost?

Then inward became outward as I realized that he was in the place where he needed to be, that for 5 long years he had suffered inside this place where I had now suffered for a month… and every time after that when I felt her great sorrow over the loss of them, I began to tell her the story of how he had walked for 5 long years feeling exactly like she felt over their loss, it was the same loss he had felt for 5 long years, where every day without his children had stretched into an eternity of endless sorrow.. and now I just remind her that we have taken this journey for him so that he will not have to live every day with sorrow in his heart, because now we know how he felt every day for that whole 5 years, how bad he hurt inside his heart and we don’t want him to have to feel that way any more..

seems to be okay with

and she seems to be okay with that.. she seems to understand now.

Love, Destiny

the Healers gift
July 18, 2013

She would not call herself a healer. It was more like the way a flower will carry a certain attribute that works in a specific fashion.

From a very young age she had been made aware that she carried an attribute for drawing out one persons pain and pulling it into herself.

The fist time it came upon her it came as an act of compassion. There was a man who had a headache that would not stop so she had laid her forehead against his and drew his headache into her until his head hurt no more.

When she drew the headache into her, as it passed through her it gave her a pain so great that she had to go to bed and hold her head for period of about 15 minutes while the head ache passed through her. She considered it a small price to pay for the pain he had experienced had lasted for some days.

Over the years, after that she would find herself, in acts of compassion absorbing the painful headaches inside of her friends. It wasn’t that they were permanently healed (or if her act of compassion had a long term effects she did not know) But what she knew was that she was able to absorb the pain of others.

In the future we found her entering again into the arms of love with a man of noble persuasion. He had this pain inside of him, a grief that would not stop grieving his loss. When she met him he had been inside of his grief for 2 years and inside his grief he could barely see her, and only became aware of her because of the crazy dance that she was doing.

She was like some side show that he watched off in the side of his mind until a last he would again be overcome by his grief and would not be able to see her.

It did not stop her though for the fates had decreed that her medicine was going to affect him and it was going to be her destiny to absorb his grief.

Through the passage of time they came to the 5th year of his grief, and by now he had come into a compassion of his own for her, had shouted across the Universe, “I love you” and in sweet surrender they had joined their forces together.

And as she kissed his heart the grief that was inside of him began to come inside of her, easing the pain of what he felt..

and as we close the door upon this glimpse into her we find her lying in bed weeping as she has absorbed his pain and now it hers to grieve the loss. It is all inside of her, his tears of 5 years, she feels so deep within her the loss.

It is her attribute that she will absorb and allow to pass through her the tears of loss he suffered through for 5 long years.

If you were to ask her right how, “How are you?” she does not feel like answering for she is deep in her attribute of absorbing his grief, and his tears are now flowing through her.

healers gift

And then they turn to me and say, “You are still deep in prayer outside the Healing Chamber praying for Golden Eagle’s broken heart to heal.”

It is all related, the Banshee screams in pain that no one can hear. It is all related to the prayer for Golden Eagle.

At this point I seem to be so deep inside this grief of loss that when people ask me how are you doing, I don’t answer… and they don’t seem to notice that I do not answer them anymore..

The first time I heard “Cha Che Wah”
July 14, 2013

This is not the dream I am looking for, the one I am talking about the cracking of the codes, but from this dream I can tell I am moving towards the dream.

In my life the ones who guide me from within, the Ancients, the ‘Guardians’, they are always giving me Indian words which later they translate for me.

It should also be noted that it wasn’t until 2004 that the Guardians told me I as Indian. My family was amongst the ones who decided it would be better not to tell people we were Indian after the Trail of Tears, (It wasn’t until my dads life that that our Grandmother told everyone, “We will no longer tell people we are Indian) so I grew up having all these Indian visions (from 4th grade on) but not knowing why, and always puzzled by why the Indians we walking with me in my vision.

I think this dream has to do with our Home World and me trying to connect to it.  I think, because of my vision when I was 12 I felt I needed to connect to him there in our Home World.. It was at this time that the Guardians (the Ancients) gave me the same word that the Ancient Tree Spirit gave me in the cracking of the codes dream..

Oh and I should also say that it was in the year 1993 that I was told the path I needed to take to find him was an Indian path. It stretched my mind tremendously to try to conceive how I was suppose to get from the path I was walking on to an Indian path. We had been told we were white. One of memories from back in the 80’s involved my Guardian Angel. I had wanted to call him Gabriel but he said no, his name was an Indian name that I could not translate because I would not be able to wrap my mind around his name, so I should just call him Michael. From 1993 to 2004 was a long journey to wrap my mind around my Indianness..  When I was young and all my visions were Indian visions, I would say to them, “What is so special about me that you walk with me?  and they would say, “You are a great Warrior.” Native-American-beaded-indian-white-deer-hide_57but they did not tell me I was Indian until Harvest Moon 2004.

November 5, 2000

I was feeling kind of sad, thinking I wasn’t connecting to you that well inside my dream world when my Guardians told me that I am connecting to you. They said that the reason I wasn’t able to interpret the dreams I am having is because your world is so different than white skinsmine that I have no interpretation for what I am seeing. And then I heard the word, “chi chi wooh or cha chi wah’ as they told me to continue to take my camera with me into my dream world.

Then I saw ‘Grandfather’ dressed in white skins passing through my vision. He was very happy. After that the vision panned back so that I saw I was in a place where the land was covered with a purple haze while the clouds of the sunset were pink. I also so trees and boulders.”

grandfather sun

Sacred Writings 1993
July 13, 2013

Look what I pulled from the storage unit..

sacred writings 1993

This is a journey of love…

a love story..

her love story to him..

I am so enchanted to know that I have arrived,

to look back and see what I dreamed of him

I had wondered for a life time

if I would find him

the one who I saw when I was 12

showing me where we were going

to meet up again

in the contracts we signed

when we accepted out mission to the Earth

The one who walked with me through my dreams

I am enchanted

by this journey

and I am learning so much.

I have been contemplating the Great Eagles part in this story, why it was when they revealed themselves to me it was on their journey to rise above a storm.

and now here him and I are now

in the storm of our own making

having accepted a new story line

within our sacred journey.

I have had to pass through tears to get here with him

and he and I both

to learn the lesson of love and pain

melding with our tears

our storm

to rise above

When the Eagles revealed themselves to me

and reminded me of the book,

Journey to the Edge of the Precipice

they were in the process

of a most beautiful and joyous

dance with each other.

I wish I could have recorded it

but my mouth was gaping open with surprise

and all I could think was to chase them in my vehicle..

but wow how they danced

as they made their movements ever upward

in and out of the clouds

until at last they disappeared up into the clouds

to rise above the coming storm.

I watched them

disappear and reappear into the clouds

and think about him and I now

and how in the space between

we are

flying together still.

Journey to the Edge of the Precipice, on my way to recapture the Book
July 12, 2013

I decided that I will go to my storage unit this weekend and retrieve the handwritten Journey to the Edge of the Precipice because, given the fact that the Ancients have now told me I have arrived at my destiny, I know I will find more of the dreams that were leading me to my destiny..  everything that has happened has been leading to this moment I am experiencing now…  The Ancients told me that this would be a year of big change for me..  so many magical dreams I have had, that I shall now go and retrieve and see them through these new eyes knowing I have come into the grace of knowing who my Soul mate is, and knowing that he was with me in my dreams for years before I arrived here inside this magical space..

I knew I had a picture of the journals on my Evolver acct so I went there to retrieve the picture and found this writing from 2009..

posted by Celeste | November 5, 2009

…”I spent the last month moving. In the midst of the move I found a huge box of journals and decided to burn them.. took pictures and everything.. to commemorate the dance of the fire as it ate my journals.. and I really thought that was that, the end of the handwritten journals..meburningmemories

A couple of weeks later, still going through the boxes taping up what we were taking, when to my surprise I opened up a box that contained more journals. The thing was, the set of journals I burned, the ones that felt unbelievably heavy covered the years from 1983 to 1991. At the end of that time period I was standing there as my last husband was saying, “I think I changed my mind about wanting to be married to you.” It was a very painful ending…. and basically all the journals that got burned up in the fire were all written during that marriage, at the end of which I decided it was time to rewrite my life… which I did through poetry….

In this box that I found were all the journals from the journey of rewriting my life…. I called this period, Journey to the Edge of the Precipice….. Here’s a picture of all the journals I found that I didn’t burn..


I found this really amazing and highly significant.. spiritually I knew the message was that at long last I was being told I had healed, that I was no longer walking with that wound hurting my heart, keeping me from allowing a man to get in close to my heart space.. I was healed..

One would think that would be that… but no, there’s more..

A few days after that I was going through a box and found a large manilla (no spell check at moment) envelope which had written on it, Journey to the Edge of the Precipice, original writings. I opened it up and the very first writing was a dream, and as I read through the dream I realized that this was when the Indian who walks with me through my dream world first showed in my dream time. Not only that, in the beginning of his showing up I was convinced that he had come to slay me, so in the beginning, in all my dreams when he would show up I would run in terror from him..

I just wanted to share that the journey of burning my journals was not the end… It is the beginning..

I look forward to reading my journals from 1991 on from the eyes of 2009…. knowing now where that future lead… wow..

that “Come Find Me” looks different with the knowledge that in the last 3 years my Ancestors have reclaimed me, told me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am Indian, that I was always Indian and THAT was why all my visions from the 4th grade on were always Indian visions, and why I could hear the Earth speaking to me, and why when I talked to the tree it talked back……


Here is a pic from 2005, after the vision of the Dancing Bird Goddess..  I made a cloud under which the 2 Eagles from the book and wrote on it,

“Come find me”

2005 february

There is no telling what dreams I am about to uncover… I am excited…

My Earthen Love for you
July 10, 2013

dylan and birdgett 2013 1404
On the waters edge
her waves lap in constant motion against him.
she is forever singing him a love song
with her touch.

On another dimension
her touch will get reflected
as raindrops falling down upon him
and tickling him with their sweet caresses

In another dimension
she is the waterfall diving off of his edge
swelling and falling
she breathes the sweet ethers of his love.

At the same time
in yet another dimension
she is in the place of deep waters
deep in thought he is no where close

and yet she lays of top of him
for they are One..

Soul Mates.. dreams of each other in the bodies of our Higher Selves
July 10, 2013


I am going through old writings because

the truth is,

as revealed by the Ancients in my dream

this last spring that

I have now arrived at my destiny..

and thus arriving here with my Rainbow Twin Flame

who calls himself my Soul Mate

is all a part of the bigger picture,

so the truth is that

I have been dreaming him for years,

having seen him in vision when I was 12,

and all the dreams that I have had,

and took the time to write out

are all parts

of the sum total to make the whole..

twin flames

I found this dream from July 22, 2009 and thought of him…

I had the most interesting dream the other morning and I wanted to record it….. it was something about, well the place I was at was busy and bustling over with movement…. ran into this guy and it was like we touched in so many more places then than where we were at.. he kept inviting me somewhere in another part of the square, finally I decided to follow him there and he (well the dream was so wet that it reminded me of the wakinyan, of the Thundergods…

at the same time it reminded me of passing through the long house.. with row after row of bed and each space taking on somewhat a finer appearance until we made it to the center where it was dry and no longer rainey..

there in his room came a girl and him and her seemed perfectly mated. the space of the bed they took up together so small it looked like space for one person..

about this time I got curious about what else I would see inside this space and moved around a corner to a corridor.. I saw the guys art was there, pictures he had drawn and painted and as I looked around I saw a picture of…. my ballerina dancer… this filled me with such joy that I began to dance (the ballerina dancer, her feet never touch the ground and all of her movements imitate nature……..) and while I was dancing I turned that there was the same picture, like I had drawn of my mother from the whitefeather life….

In looking at this dream now, knowing where my journey took me to, to me it now looks like I was dreaming his and mine Higher Self.. My Soul Mate and I reconnected physically in January of 2011. My Kundalini awakened just months before our journey’s touched each other again and it leaves me feeling that they are interconnected that the activation of my spin and dance should happen just before he walked through the door.

I find this world to be an utterly magical space with multiple dimensions in which we are living portions of the same story…

god goddess we, creators on a magical journey,

having agreed to undergo the illusion

of separate lives

Divine sparks of each other

whose destiny

again to merge

inside a single flame.


We will do this because this is required of us for the ascension of the Earth

who are,

and have always been

a divine reflection

of what it looks like


2 to walk as One.

They are the ultimate



Soul Mate

Twin Flames (of Rainbow caliber)

They did not loose their balance

in descending into a physical body

like we did in human form..

Where we warred with each other

while in solid form

they did not.

They have held the perfect reflection

of what it looks like for

2 to walk as One.