Archive for the ‘Astral traveling’ Category

She adds our hearts radiating love and light the doorway bright
May 8, 2018

Two Heart apart but touch through the portal she adds our hearts of radiating love

The positioning of her divine feminine in the picture comes from a dream I had during the time of great sleep (last winter 2017) when I was being brought into the understanding that I had been dreaming them all my life.

In the dream I could see I was in my Home world as all of my animals began to congregate a party began to form and grow through time until the party spilled over to the front yard, but still more people kept coming to the party and after a time the animals all turned into people but I could still tell who they were.

From the clan of the ancient deer people by destiny

down the hill stood the Clan of Ancient Deer People who, it seemed had migrated across the river to my side, and were standing at the edge of the party.  Then comes one of them walking past me, and this time I could see their features up close, her softly flattened nose.  and her dress of deer skin.  She had 2 braids hanging down in front and on her chest she wore her crest, the emblem of the Ancient Deer People.  She was long and graceful and after she passed me, upon her back I could see she wore her emblem there too and she had another 2 braids hanging down.

She was headed back towards her clan, and she reminded me of  the way a comet shoots off to seed new worlds and then comes back home to their clan..

ancient chinese knight picture3b59092b1b5d994e3c467948b54e455cwith this I realize that all along a man and a woman have been standing there with with me along (as the Deer Woman had passed between us and caused me to look towards her and see them.)

The man was very very tall and larger than life.  His attire was quite elegant and at the same time he was an Ancient one.  The woman was a lot shorter than him and was dressed only slightly like the pic above.

There was another woman there and she was talking to him about her art, asking him if he wanted to see her art, so I asked him if he would like to see my art, and we took off to the front of the house.  The passage up the stairs was like jumping from stone to stone up a waterfall stairway..  He took the lead and his woman ran danced skipped beside me..  then as we neared the top she ran on up the steps in front of him..  and that was when I recognized my love as she looked over the top of his head and smiled so bright back at me..  (I have seen us in this same position many times inside my dreams..)

When she gets to the top of stairs she makes this odd movement, lays down and slips through the opening..  Then he does the same, so I do the same thing and walk into an alternate world, where we are standing up..

I am looking around for my art to show him so I take him into my glow in the dark room..  in the sky up above I have stars and clouds….  and he is getting romantically distracted by it to the point where he goes, “I wish you hadn’t painted those stars in the sky for they are distracting me from my mission,” and pulling me close (as my human form was quite sick at the time) he was asking me if maybe I could ask someone to turn on the music so we could dance…



This was one of the dreams from before I realized they always were with me in my dreams…  so when I sketched out the picture of the mirror portal with my hand reaching through and touching their heart.. and their hand reaching though and touching my heart I put my loves divine feminine in the position from the dream, from when she ran up the stairs ahead of him.. and looking back she smiled at me….  ♥♥♥




Mermaid Island, a spiritual retreat,
June 6, 2017


I have gone to Mermaid Island on a spiritual journey, spiritual retreat… It is the place where I lived in our passage through Lemuria.. I will be searching through time for my memories from that life…

Once we set our mind on something, it will cause the path to open before us..

and thus through my dreams and ‘seeings’ I will be be able to access memories from there…

I found myself in a dream from there this morning, but I was not able to bring it out with me…

but the thought is crossing my mind, as I swan down the corridor that we lived in the caves.. that was as much of the dream as I was able to bring out

I have a feeling the Hawk.. and the Blue Butterfly will both have appearances on this journey…. along with the water dragon with golden light in its hair…

Guidance on my mission within this Two Spirit love
June 12, 2016

I do not know that I could complete this mission without the Earth guiding my steps and my reactions.  The human part of me would react in a way to push any discomfort out of my being, but in this new world I have found myself in the rules are so different here.  They call for a higher love  than I have experienced in my current human expression.

Butterfly Blue lead me into a place I call the Dark Forest.  It it the place inside my Two Spirit where she holds such rage for all that has happened in her world with the constant reminder that she is not like everyone else.  From the moment I entered there I got a tummy ache.  Then it felt like my head exploded (I am an empath, I think I am walking inside of her now).  I have had an Amethyst on my head all weekend because anywhere I tried to focus made me feel overwhelmed.

In the place of this rage, it is without love.  Love has no place here.  It is the total and complete emotion of protecting oneself from annihilation.   It is the Dark forest that has been built upon for all the generations that the Two Spirits have been traveling through the Time of Chaos.  The emotional body carries the signature of all the love that they have seen murdered through time, which makes it unsafe to love, all the disrespect that they have been shown because they translate the world through different eyes than most people.  It is the place inside where the rage is so strong it makes her tremble.  As I looked around there, there was no love for me there.  I could be there or I could leave.  It did not matter.  The only thing that mattered to her was to get through the rage to the other side so she could grow through the experience.  Where ever it lead her, that is the place she would go.  I could be nothing more than a song bird she once heard singing, or I could be whatever I chose to be.  There was no love inside her like we think of love and relationships growing through time..

It was difficult being there, stomach hurting, and my head feeling like it was going to explode (I never have headaches, but I got a headache) ..

Finally I decided I needed to change into something more comfortable for my passage through the Dark Forest, so I transformed into a River Song so that I could watch the energies of the collective Dark Forest from inside the Water Spirit.

We have been walking in silence for 22 days now but we have still been touching in that one place where we meet, even though there are no words spoken out loud, just tiny pictures that dance between us.  I was not going to tell her why I changed my name from Destiny loves Lakota to River Song.  I was just going to let it go where ever it went.  The Earth has already told me that she has bound me to Lakota for her healing, no matter whether we walk inside a relationship or not. (Did I tell you the Earth had me cut off my braid and send it to Lakota in 2011?  I did as I was told and the Earth said that she bound me to Lakota because I am a notorious run away when it comes to love.)

So I was not going to tell Lakota why I transformed myself into a River Song..  But then the Butterfly Blue showed up.  She danced upon my waters and bid me to say hello to Lakota and tell her why I transformed myself into River Song..  so I did..

After that I was laying in bed, with my Amethyst on my head, drifting in River Songs body when I saw a cloud formation in the sky.  It was in the shape of a Tree, and the top of the tree had been swirled to look like a crescent moon, with swirls that came out and disappeared into the blueness of the sky.  Behind the  trunk of the tree cloud a bright sun, complete with Sun rays reaching out, and evenly dispensed on both sides.. all against a blue sky.

Question Mark 2

I Dream in Tarot Cards, art by Destiny

My first thought was, I don’t think I can paint that picture out…  so I drifted on, and looking into the Dark Forest I saw a Black Tree…  bent in a swirl, just like the Cloud…  so I drew it out…


This Two Spirit mission is really important..  and sacred..  But I do not think that I could complete it if I was not divinely guided by the Earth to come into this higher love..

It is so easy to get lost in the Ego, thinking it has to go one way or another.  The Ego could say well, “You tried and she broke your heart anyway.  The Ego would have me to contemplate a thousand excuses to travel on and go someplace else, and if it was up to me I would have left.

But it is the Earth who guides my steps, and she sends animal messengers to tell me what direction she needs me to travel next.

Since this new phase of the journey began 22 days ago, a blue butterfly keeps showing up to guide my journey and tell me what to do..

And 2 days ago, I was driving to work when an Eagle flew over my path.  I drove further, and in my sky I beheld a cloud in the shape of an Eagle…

I have come into a New World, into a higher form of love.  The Earth holds me and keeps me safe on this journey and keeps Lakota safe too, in this special place that the Earth has made for her healing.. and for the healing of the Two Spirits.

all my love,

a River Song

To my Cheyenne Two Spirit
May 2, 2016

Two spirit-hayamoni

I think of you all the time.  This Winters past the Great Spirit Bear who guides me explained to me how all my life after I set out from our Home World you came to me every night and walked with me through my dream time and as I journey through my dreamworld and look within my dreams there is always the presence of you even to the point of me seeing you as a male and seeing you as a female opening the path to our love story on this planet today, you were there guiding my steps to awaken our mission of Oneness in this life before we arrived at it.

When I was 12 I was instructed from an Indian within me to merge with the Earth in all ways..  so I did.. (It was also the first time I saw you in vision)  In 2007 I had a merging with a River who once upon a time rang strong underneath its lover a Mountain.  When the River Ouachita merged with me it touched the place where I was lonely and called up in me to sing a song I called, “Are you Lonely, yes I am”

In 2011, when we first touched in this physical life I shared that poem and it made you weep.  Back then I did not remember why the Earth was calling me to journey with you by bidding me to cut off my braid and offer my medicine to you.  I did not remember why she showed me a picture of us in the heavens, Star People holding hands.  All I knew was this was the journey I was given to walk and so I had to honor it, no matter how long the path was or how long it took you to want to hold my hand in the heavens (even as I admit I was afraid to hold you too, as every time your Lion roared I ran away, until this last time when I simply followed you) I still knew I must honor the path I was given to take to get to my mission be that whatever it was.

Even when I surrendered to the roar of the Lion this time there was still a great journey to take.  It is all very sacred to me the way it happened, the way that we were dreaming together when I just happened to mention that your body parts did not seem to line up the way I thought and you told me it was because you had been born with the divine feminine living inside you..

Over these last months you have lifted the veil of your protection to reveal to me that you are a Two Spirit..  and for that honoring I have taken a journey into the world of the Two Spirits and have discovered the many flavors of the Two Spirit world.

There is a commonality that runs between you all, that this is a world that is filled with pain and hearts that hurt that long for understanding and acceptance, to not be taunted as freaks.

In my journey into this new world I have have been watching movies.  The theme of not being accepted runs through them all.  The theme of the path needing to be opened runs through them all.  The pain hidden, but felt runs through them all.

There are things I remember in my journey with you in this life, the suicide..  the longing for the pain to end..  I remember..

I remember seeing you torn to pieces, time and time again, remember laying witness to your gentle spirit getting up and never speaking ill of anyone who ripped your heart to shreds .  I remember you trying again and again to find a love that would not tear your heart apart…

And now, every day I pray that you will know the love that is inside my heart for you walks with you through out your day, and I pray that you will not be made to suffer as this world has been so horribly cruel to the people of the Two Spirits.  Every day I pray that your spirit can feel the love inside my heart for you even though we are on separate continents..

There was a dream I was given many years before we met.  In it I found myself on the dark side of the moon, in  an observatory.  We were in a classroom and the teacher (a Maya Indian) was in front of the classroom instructing us on how to teleport.  She was instructing us to push white light out our meridian points, and then she said that at the point where our bodies became engulfed in light we were to will ourselves to the location we desired and we would appear.  With this she pushed the white light out her meridian points and when her body became engulfed in the light she disappeared and then reappeared back behind me off my shoulder..

I have never forgotten this dream.  There were others in the classroom learning the same lesson.  I watch for them to appear in this human world so that we can use the strength of each other to achieve this…


Eighth Chakra ~a Kundalini Twin Flame Journey
March 19, 2016

Blue Angel 03192016

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(((((( Here is my 8th Chakra Kundalini / Twin Flame picture I drew from our merging. ))))))
The passage through the 8th Chakra was quite difficult  as I was taken to a whole new world and a whole new way of perceiving love.  It came upon me like a storm somewhere up inside my head as my Twin Flame began the Great Reveal that he was truly a Two Spirit One.  I had to be completely de-programed as I had only ever been (in this life) attracted towards men.
And she was so beautiful as she deprogrammed me.  When my soul cried out, “I think I have to be with a man,” she put back on her man skin and prepared to love me from there.  But then my heart cried out, “But you are so soft and so gentle, I need to love you from here.  I need to feel the love that touches me from the heart.    So she continued deprogramming me.
Spirit Bear, my guide was helping me through it in my dream time, explaining to me that my Twin Flame walked with me through my dreams for my whole life, how every morning when he brought me home he would erase my memories to help me make it through the long journey ahead. (that was before the reveal)
Then after the reveal Spirit Bear came and told me I needed to revisit my writings for my Twin Flame was all in them.  When I opened up the book the first dream I read was about this woman who was with me, and she danced with me and it felt so nice..
Somewhere in the midst of the deprogramming I dream I was out walking around when I found a portal to my Twin Flames world.  It was a tunnel and when I tried to pass through it it began collapsing in around me, so I went back and told my Twin Flame I found a portal.  Then I went back to portal and began trying to push through.
This brought me to a place of great disconnect.  My Twin Flame was deprogramming me and all of a suddenly it was like I lost my translator and could no longer understand what she was saying.  My head was becoming massively confused and a great fear of abandonment seized me.
I struggled for some hours with this feeling.  Then all of a sudden I heard a voice tell me to slip into Eagle mode with my Twin Flame, rise above the storm, and ride like the Eagles above the storm..
 so I did and everything calmed down for the day.  I was riding above the storm when all of a sudden we went into this spiral going upward.  In the vision it was completely  lovely and beautiful, our dance as we did that.  Then we just kind of merged together and burst forth as a Blue Angel..
 It was one of those WOW! moments that I really wanted to draw a picture of..
Of course, that was only the beginning of passing through the eighth chakra..  It quickly got very freaky as  I could no longer feel my Twin Flame and alone and freaking out I began the journey through the Eighth Chakra.  It was a difficult journey, like finding yourself in a new world and all alone and in front of you there are these stones that keep being turned over.  For instance, facing the fact that you are in a new world and alone.  A part of you never minded alone time, even craved it.  Another part of you is freaking out because you don’t know where your Twin Flame is or if you will ever see them again.  Another part of you can see them way off in the distance, but there is no sound in this place, and the lack of sound is deafening
I kept traveling down that path, reconciling the differences within myself until I felt like I had been unmasked, and in being unmasked I had to reconcile the fact that I never felt like I wore a mask.
Once I surrendered to the feeling of being unmasked, it did not take that much longer to pass all the way through the 8th chakra and back out into the light..
I spent a couple of days where one minute I would feel bliss.. and the next tormented.. as if it was partly cloudy, and every time I would go into a shadow I would feel torment..  til I hit the light again…
and then once I came out I felt all to myself again.

8th Chakra ~unmasked
March 15, 2016

It seems to me the 8th chakra

strips you of your mask

you may not have even thought you had

it lays you naked and vulnerable

looking into the spaces between

thoughts that might have laid unturned.

It calls you to run away

run back,

and yet in looking back

you see you have grown beyond

what was and became

what is.

and the ‘what is’

now stands in front of you


Looking into the new world

there is no place to go

but forward.

I have this strong feeling that I have been unmasked and I cannot hide from anything that I feel.  It presents itself to me in ways that are not necessarily comfortable, and yet they are without pain.  They just say, “here is the wound you once thought as painful.  Here is the heart you once thought of as ripped and torn apart.  Here are the tears that you cried upon your path.  Here are your moments of insecurities.. Here are the stones you left unturned.”

And everywhere you look you find yourself unmasked, looking into the places you never thought to look


with the knowledge that this way you must pass

because now you know that you have grown

beyond all that was before

you came to the

Event Horizon

event horizon

pushing through the 8th Chakra
February 22, 2016



The opening of the 8th chakra is filled with wonder and at the same time quite difficult.  One moment I am inside an amazing vision of being liquid light and as I raise my arm to stretch it I see my wings coming out of the liquid light and the next second I am full of insecurities and facing abandonment issues.  I will have an overwhelming sense of being alone in a new world.

I am not really an insecure person.  I have always loved my alone time, but this is so much bigger than that.  It is literally like I have found myself in a new world and I don’t know the rules or what to do with myself in the down time.

I am not a clingy person either but have found myself touching that emotion where I feel a need to cling..  cling to my familiar.  Like a part of me would say to run back to the before land, but the Earth has assured me that I am on the path I am suppose to be on and that she needs me to push through this..

I think I am going astral and trying to find my way as to what to do with this.  In my dream I found myself out of my body and walking along a familiar path when I came to a tunnel.  Looking down the tunnel I see the world of my Twin Flame so I begin to travelakota on her bikel down it.  As I am traveling down it, it begins to collapse in on me so I came back just so I could tell her that I found the passage to their world but it was collapsing around me.

After that I must have continued in my spirit to push on through because afterlakota in mode that I came to this huge disconnect. It showed up in my phone.  My phone was no longer notifying me that my Twin Flame was coming around.  However far away I felt in the disconnect I kept hearing my Twin Flame telling me we are going Home.  I had 3 days of disconnect, wanting to run back to my old familiar, so in my alienation I began to draw pictures while I tried to understand where I was.

Then I dreamed that my Twin Flame and I were traveling down the road to home when we had to stop because of the snake that was coming towards us.  We found the snake (Kundalini) at the Y in the road.  It had a yellow head, red ring around its neck and a pure white body and must have been 20 feet long.  Then it put its mouth on my Twin Flames hand and her hand was engulfed in the snakes mouth.

The next morning, as I was trying to figure out the meaning while explaining it to my Twin Flame, I looked and was told it was some kind of Phoenix Snake..  and on my phone was the weirdest message about  our whole state being under fire alert, that we should not start any fires until the 18th but if a fire came it would burn through quickly.

Then I realized in this place I was calling the death of the old me I was in the place of my medicine of the Phoenix Rising, that the passage to the new world, the tunnel was the Kundalini Snake, and that I had to push hard against the place where it was collapsing down on me (where I felt like the old me was dying and wanting to run back to the safety of the old world) …  A fire was lit inside me as I now knew I was in the medicine of the Phoenix Rising..

Afterwards I found myself alone again and feeling like I was dying again.  I was still trying to figure out where I was at in my journey.  Obviously I was still making the passage through the 8th Chakra.   I was feeling very much like I had been transplanted into a new world, which set my mind to my own knowledge of transplanting.

People say to me, “How do you make your garden grow so pretty?”…  and the truth is, lots of water and I sing to them…  about this time my Twin Flame sent me a song  by Denean called Sun Child Returning….  She was calling me to dance with her from my heart…   calling me Home…  that night I could feel my Twin Flame again…


Dance in a circle

spiral to your heart

this is where you start

If you yearn to find your way back home

Grandmothers calling

you are not alone

though it seems so simple

Love is what you are

give it, receive it

live only from the heart

dance in a circle

spiral there with me

nourish, nourish blessed harmony


Sun child returning

yes your time has come


know that we are One


dance in a circle


In traveling forward we were always meant to travel back to the place of no prejudice
February 15, 2016

With this the change from student to teacher

I am transitioning well into my new roll of uncovering the hidden well of love that is my Twin Flame journey.  It is literally like leaving my old world behind and stepping into a whole new world.

As Lightworkers, Bringers of the Dawn, writers of the New Calendar, Conscious Creators..  the list goes on and on..  as there is a multitude of us who have incarnated at this time to welcome the next great circle around the Central Suns and to influence the course of mankind over the next 26,000 cycle.  Much of what we do requires that we break down the walls of prejudice that grip the heart of the people who would cling to the old way of being and not welcome the necessary changes to unfold.  A lot of our natural way of walking across this planet beautiful inspires people to love us and recognize that in our movements of grace they have been lead to something higher that they may not have noticed before.

It is a journey of discovery for us both.  This new world I have arrived in for which I now must learn a new language and learn how to sing proper a new honoring song as this is the song that wells up from me now from the power of creation..

In traveling forward we were always meant to travel back to the place of no prejudice..


The 8th Chakra, facing my worst fear
February 4, 2016

snowy-owl-facts31The Kundalini passing through all the chakra’s can be quite a lengthy process and take years to complete all the purification’s that one must undertake to open yet other chakra…  yesterday in vision I saw Lakota and I in our Eagle bodies flying above the storm.. then we went into a great spiral that looked like 8 spirals high, then we transformed as one into this amazing Blue Light Goddess with Wings…
So then later it came that I had to face my worse fear through a picture that Lakota shared with me.  I felt parallelized as if I couldn’t breathe and I wanted desperately to run away.  My heart could not stop shaking…  back at yesterdays vision of the spiral, from that vision (even though I did not have enough space on my paper to get all 8 spirals drawn, I knew from that that I was to the 8th chakra, and the time must come that I had to face my worst fear.
Hours later, still in a state of panic, I went to the Earth and she told me to stay the course, that everything was going snowy_owl_by_vefanturto be ok, to not surrender to the fear, that she needed me to make this passage, that she needed me to not run away but to face it and make the passage through, promising me again that everything would be ok.
I went to bed exhausted and when I woke up I sent Lakota some messages over where I wasSnowy%20Owl%20Pictures%2046 at.  It was like I had lost my translator and could not longer translate the impute I was seeing.  So he sent me an hour long meditation 432 hz Relaxing – Meditation, Sleep, Spa, Study, Zen (1 hour) which I laid down to and allowed the soothing energy to move through the energy especially I could feel up above my head drawing waves of white light out the top of my head, while little remaining hidden blockages within my body were being released.
After the meditation was over (during which I cried a great way through it until I could relax and breathe right) I feel2948_snowy_owl asleep and woke up in a dream of being on my way to see Lakota and passing through a room that was uniquely like a garage.. or barn… with no vehicles..  but when I came into the door there were a whole bunch of baby owls playing on a bench.
They were so adorable that I sat down on the bench to watch them play.  And one of them attached itself to me and played on my arm so I got out my camera and was trying to take a picture when in through Harfang_en_vol_1the big giant elegant garage door (it was decorated like a Tarot Card) flew in the mother of the Owls and one by on they began to hop over to her, all except my baby owl that was quite content to continue playing on my arm.  So I took a picture thinking I was going to send it to Lakota.  Then gently released the Owl back to its Mother.
Walked over to the Shoppe where Lakota was dressed as a girl and so she said she would come out with me for a few moments.  We went over and found a bench nestled close to a tree.  There was a lot of cob webs there that we had to clean and by the time we got to the bench Lakota said that she had to run back into the shoppe for a moment.
So I made myself busy cleaning the bench which I actually turned around so that it would face the tree, that seemed to be like a pine cone tree.  Then I sat over in another place to watch and wait for Lakota to come back.
When I saw Owl Woman coming down the street with all the baby owls clamoring around her I knew that I should gosnow owl to the Shoppe now..  There was a guy with me now so I told him that the woman coming was a famous writer and she was coming to the Shoppe.  He went over and spoke to a girl who was there also then he came back and we went inside the shoppe laughing.  And by now the guy was Lakota, and I had my umbrella for reasons I do not know.
Owl woman had very long, butt length wavey white hair that came down to a point at the base of her spine.  By now she was in the Shoppe with us sitting in a lounge area and I was up behind the counter.  Lakota (as a guy) was saying, “Why don’t you get out the white incense?   and when I opened it up there was an incense that was burning in there so I quickly grabbed it and placed it on the ledge and let it smoke.  The White incense looked like a sugar cube..  I was thinking “how odd its shape”  when Lakota (as a boy, as a girl) began to laugh..  I looked over at the incense I had placed on the ledge and it looked like a joint burning.. so I began to giggle and woke up laughing out loud..
I will try to draw a picture of the Owl Woman…
Owl Woman

Twin Rainbow Flame ~Anatomy of love revealed
February 3, 2016

It is hard to keep the books from running all together now, as I feel like I am writing 3 books at once..


It is just that I finally understand now why our creation happened like it happened..  I have spent a life time feeling as though no one understands I am a planet and so I think like a planet.  I believe in emotions and have an emotional body..  One moment I can be inside the storm feeling as though I am being torn, and the next second I can be the Eagle rising above the storm and have the emotional part separated from me so I can watch from above.

Another minute I can be standing inside a tree, the wind softly blowing through me while I listen to the song my leaves are singing..

In this life, in ‘love’ I always feel like someone wants to build a dam to contain me in (as if I would not fill over their banks anyway, or fence me in (as if I would not just fly away)

The Earth thing so many called Love just did not feel like love should feel to me and so I just made myself to be content to stand as I am in the place where I am and if any man would try to contain me I would fly away, or if he should bore me with a little story when life is so grand and so capable of a full earthen body experience, they could have their little moment, but in the end I would disappear to the place where I felt the excitement within…  until at last I arrived at the place where I had to consider that there was no such thing as a perfect love for a girl like me..  I had lost him somewhere and I didn’t know where he was or how to find him, or maybe our missions just weren’t meant to sync.  Maybe I had missed my opportunity to feel our love while on this Earth and in this human skin.  For whatever reason it just did not feel as though Love had found me worthy of the grand adventure of a Fairy Tale romance story..  and what can a girl do when she is not graced with such a love?  She just keeps on keeping on.  Keeps on opening the path to fulfill the mission she came to do..  because she knows, in another time, in another space she will get to her Love Story…

Then enters the Kundalini opening..  love pouring out of my heart with no one to reciprocate, and visions pouring in of 2 rainbow twin flames and a million dollar display of fireworks times two, and 2 Eagles rising above the storm..

In the mist of this stand you weeping with a deep longing to find the one who can love you for you.

By now I am deep inside a Kundalini Awakening.  It has come up through the base of my spine and I am spinning all the time.  I cannot see what I can see any longer for I have entered into a sweet state of bliss in which as I watch whole galaxies are being removed as I am being redefined.  And there stand you, weeping for the love you cannot find when the Earth shows me a single picture that one day in a blue filled starry sky you would grab hold of my hand and hold it like I was something to you.

Now I am a leap of faith kind of girl and I do not know why I have been shown such a picture or why the Earth screamed at me,  “You must cut off your braid and send it to this boy right now!”  But what I did know was that when the Earth tells me to do something I must do it, and I must give honor to the path she has given me to walk.

The rest is a story of discovery with me inside my crazy dance telling you that one day you would love me.. and you out there searching for the love you knew would feel right when it fit you.  Inside my crazy dance you were always so gentle.  You never made me feel like you were slapping me down or telling me that I could not grow within the place where I was standing, though we kept bouncing together and apart.  You would just ask my how I knew that one day we would be together.  And in my crazy dance I would say, “I don’t know.  She didn’t tell me how to find my way into your heart, she just showed me a picture of you holding my hand.  I am completely without a clue as to how to get from point A to point B.”  Then your Lion would roar and I would run away.. or we would just face away from each other inside the story.. until the hair from the cut off braid would pop up and tell me to say hello again, your leap of faith girl calling reminding you that one day you were going to love her..  and you were ever gentle true, never trying to push me off of you while my Kundalini was spinning so delightfully as I would dance before you until again I would fade back into the shadows ever watching the happenings in your life.  Watching as you tried to reach through the darkness to find the love that fit you..  I would see you getting shattered to pieces over and over again.  It seemed that life seemed determined that it was going to beat you up and was not going to allow you to experience the love you sought to find.  And every time it would beat you up you would go away to heal (then in would step the Earth and the hair, the hair from the cut braid calling me to once again call out to you)

So I would reappear having already seen that love had once again ripped your heart apart and thrown you away in pieces.  You kept so much inside you, never ever talking bad about anyone, never ever dishonoring the woman who rejected you or the ones who were beating you up.  You just kept your fire sacred and true to the love you had for the Earth, for the Trees, for those who could no speak for themselves..

4 years later we have come to the part where the seed of our love has begun to grow.  And here stand you making your reveal to me….

And now I can see why 5 years ago the Earth made it clear that you were the love that I needed, and I was the love that you needed…  I realize now she was saying, “he is the love that you need and you are the love they need.”

As a Two Spirit One your medicine is so so different than any I have known (in this life)  You are sacred amongst our people, medicine for them.  It is so clear to me how unique your medicine is for it challenges a person to see and think outside the box..

This last time we came together I saw you as a girl standing there.. and then when she hugged that tree that was all it took for me to give her my heart too..  so I go to my people and make my declaration of love for a woman.. then what do you do but send me a prayer as a man who is praying for the Earth.. (what can I do but share?)  You are medicine for the people..

In the dream from 2000 when you came to me as a woman who I dance with..  In that dream the song that was playing was “That don’t impress me much”… but honestly, now, I am so impressed..

The other day I had an Earthen moment.  Something undefined happened that I thought was happening for another reason and I got swept up into the storm of my own emotions.. while you were being swept up by the emotions of a prayer you were joining for the Earth..

Inside that storm I said so many things to you…  like crazy talk from before that did not the prayer that you were involved in.  Finally 2 Eagles came to me and told me to pull us above the storm, just like in the vision when I came out of Walmarts after I met you..

So I do as they say and set my wings to dance with you above the storm…

The next day you tell me how you had become exhausted after doing a meditation with some other people for the Earth..

Then I closed my eyes and as I watched our 2 Eagles dancing above the clouds they went into this spiral – helixing upward they went, their energy transforming 8 times until they emerged as one out of the top radiantly beautiful as one blue angel…

I tried to draw a quick picture because I did not want to loose this moment, this vision…  I am thinking I need bigger paper now to express myself…..  and today it is clear that what the Earth was saying when she sent me on a journey to love you was that you were the love I needed…  and I was the love you needed too….

Eagles into blue Angel of light

This picture is not as brilliant as it looked when I saw us as 2 Eagles flying above the storm..   then we just kind of went into this spiral up, more like 8 circles and burst forth as One into a Brilliant blue light Angel…  with our light radiating our from up