Feeling like a girl with a new toy

All right, I have just discovered I can change my picture… and my font….  may have to do some playing around to make an expression…

In the meantime it is going very strangely with Rick….  I don’t know what happened to that boy but he is kind of acting like a horse that has been broken after 10 years of running together..

I have been thinking about that and the Twin Flames thing…  seems like the Twin Flames journey is like about a journey of looking in a mirror at yourself.. and it seems 2 people who are martyrs from long ago, unless it is agreed upon that they are gonna come in and fight for the same cause, then the possibilities of them mirroring results that take them away from each other are greater..

strange journey, only 2 and a half years, while the journey with Rick has somehow made it through 10 years..  In my research of the outer regions I am finding, like in the Big Dipper, Little Dipper scenario there are many little reflections out in galaxies..

Anyway, the deal with Rick is more like we are polar opposites..  I am the essence of purity and he is rather the opposite, but I don’t mean it in a bad way.  I just mean, he will practice deceit in the place where he chooses to practice it..  while I never try to convince anyone that my way is the way, he tries to convince everyone his way is the way…  He believes in Satan, I believe Satan is a cop out for not taking responsibility for your own feelings and responses..

We are Polar Opposites…  we have been battling each other for 10 years, and in many other lives we battled each other a lot..  He pisses me off, I leave…  but this time, now that I am back he is acting all different, like every bomb I throw at him, he just goes around it, laughs and kisses me like he is so glad I am back this time..  (I was gone away from him for a year and 3 months this time, shot off him in a fury of angry words in the heat of my Kundalini spinning, rocking me hard for 2 weeks non stop.  I just had to go away from everyone at that time) There were times in the past when he would get mad at me and think I would allow him to chew me out.  I would just stand my ground and say, “You breaking up with me Rick?”  And he would say, H*ll now, this book is too good to put down..)  so here we are now, me embittered by my latest journey, spitting fireballs at Rick, telling him don’t you use that L word with me..  and he just keeps going around the fireballs and kissing me like he is glad to see me again…

He is breaking down my resistance…


(this story is larger than just this moment..  I may chose to tell it because of its Kundalini connection)




3 Responses

  1. Mmm…..interesting, and some new points of view here. But being Dutch, I don’t have a clue what the L..word might be, perhaps it’s just as well(:))?
    And kissing going around the fireballs…woman, you’re quite a piece of art!

  2. LOL…. the L word is Love…. It is like he is standing on a volcano, staring at the bubbling liquid going, “I know you love me” … and I am like, “What’s love got to do with it? I am here because I know he will sleep with me on the astral plane.. I think I will write this astral story out because as gods and goddesses we are here to evolve into something beyond the normal concepts of what is possible. As an Indian we are moving back to the state where a woman can fall in love with a a Thunderbeing and bear him children… so we, who are gifted with the art of expression, have to open the path.. In all this time that I have known Rick there has come a change this time in my circling back to him.. He used to just scream at me how I left him on the Trail of Tears, but he can be really infuriating, never listening to a word I say, never considering letting me inside his heart but treating me like I am just one of his students (as he seriously has a complex that he is here to tell people what to do) and telling me how he is the energy of a horse and I am just one of his harem girls (or whatever) always keeping me in my place… anyway, this time since I spent a year and 3 months before I circled round and came back when I wake up in the astral plane and he is in my bed it is like there is a different person laying there than the one I left last year… This story bears sharing.. and I don’t even know where it is going.. and it very much has to do with my Kundalini journey.. which I will share later….. anyway, the L word is Love … which I have come to the conclusion simply means, I Enjoy Your Energy.. and there is only a slight line between that and Hate which translates to I really do not like your energy…..

    LOL…. I seem to be on a journey of polarities now…. and I am good with that…

    PS… I love the way you love my writings.. and I love the way I love your writings.. I enjoy the way our energies play together….

    gotta go now, I am on my way out the door to chase Comet Ison..

  3. Haha…just what I needed! And I admit that it was rather ignorant of me not to reckognize the L…word. As soon as I clicked on: ‘post comment’… I had this revelation, yes, of course: it means Love, what else!
    But the next time you’ll see him, tell him that if you were a horse, your name for sure would be Fury! I can see you rear up in front of him, holding your ground, pissing him off with your priceless female logic..haha..what’s love gotta do with it, hm?

    No seriously, this is quite some journey you’re on again. And you are saying some really serious things here, like feeling or even being overwhelmed by this masculine use of power. But to me his screaming sooner seems a smoke-screen, covering up his wounded heart. Anything but showing his real feelings to a ….. woman!

    And now the L.. word begins to make sense. Not in the sensual meaning of the word, but in the spiritual and creative way. Although he believes he is the teacher here, it actually has to be you this time, so yes…you should be heard now. Once he stops screaming and starts listening, he will hear what you have to say and so heal the both of you.

    In my humble opinion that is.

    Love you! And please, have some fun too. Enjoy Your Energy!!

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