Archive for June, 2013

Lakota Peyote Healing Song
June 30, 2013

Spider Grandmother ~my soul mate entered the Healing Chamber
June 30, 2013

Healing ChamberSaturday June 29th

Today my soul mate and Rainbow Twin Flame went into the Healing Chamber and for all appearances I will not be able to talk to him until his healing is complete and he re-emerges.

This morning Spider Grandmother gave me my instructions for what to do while he is in the Healing Chamber. She told me that I was to sit outside his chamber and sing my prayer songs for his healing still as he sat within the healing chamber. She also gave me a sign for what I would see when his healing was complete.  She said that when the Golden Sky Eagle appears his healing will be complete.  Then he will return to her.

He has a lot of healing that needs to take place. It was not that he screamed out in pain, and hurt people by striking out in pain It was just that there was a place inside of him where he could not stop weeping.  To have spent an earthly lifetime with him inside the place of his tears would have been to hard to bear.

Not only had his heart been torn out and thrown away but there was also the loss of the job he loved caring for the children, and the loss of his children, their hearts to know that he loved them, and his heart to know that they loved him and for him to be there to comfort and guide them as they grew.. the loss of his life.. And on top of all this pain he had also been forced to endure walking around with a scarlet letter.

It was not that looking at him on the outside one could see all this. It was that I looked inside his beautiful beautiful heart and saw his great wound. And that is why I knew that he had to go into the healing chamber to be healed, is why I, his sweet destiny, lead him to to his destiny.

This morning I had a moment when I wanted to flee, but Spider Grandmother is very clear, my journey with my soul mate is a part of her creation.

All my life I see forward through time to my next destination, and without knowing how to get there I know that I am supposed to go there. Today Spider Grandmother told me that is her doing, and she showed me through time all the places she had woven my life and showed the man who was coming to walk beside me as One again. He is my One and Only, the One for who there is not other, for he and I have been together since the days when we walked with One body as 2 who walked as One.

Our split into 2 was not meant to be painful. It was meant so that we could experience a deeper love, a deeper passion with our love. And so she wove our new world for us with separate galaxies and planets that each had their story lines that intersected, so that he and I, as we stood with her looking across the galaxies could see he and I in the galaxy in which I was leading him into the the Healing Chamber. It is as if we, he and I exist in many dimensions simultaneously.

This morning she let me know that I was not to leave my place outside the door of the Healing Chamber when he went in there. She told me that I was to sit outside the Chamber and sing healing prayer songs to him, that even if it appeared he could not hear me, my prayers would be heard and would blend with his healing.

As he went into the Healing Chamber he turned to me and told that we had come to a comma, and that a comma is not the end it is merely a pause in our never ending love song…

And so I do as Spider Grandmother said. Here in this place, under her grace, I sit outside the Healing Chamber with my prayers and love songs for he who is my soul mate, for his heart to be healed.

dancing bird goddess and golden eagle

Soul mates, we are One
June 30, 2013

Wave large

I feel his love

wave after wave come crashing into me

Splash and touch my body laugh

while I am left with ringlets of laughter..

and again he comes

crashes into me

with his soft

and rough

and touching love

bringing me to ecstasy

with his signature kisses and hugs


We are One

Soul mates


forever love.


Spider Grandmother, a grander design
June 29, 2013

I was following this path. I had gone out on the internet to look up with when Rainbow Twin Flames could not be together.  The words I was reading I could understand how Twin Flames mirror each other.. and as I thought about that I began to drift and create my future from a different direction.

But Spider Grandmother just called me back.  She spoke to me of the importance of staying with the Grand design, reminded me of all the weaving’s she had done in my life since I stood at the edge of womanhood at the age of 12…  That was the first time I saw him.. in my vision when I was 12.  He was showing me the contract we signed and where on planet Earth we would reconnect..

The next times I saw him was in my dreams..  For years he walked with me through my dream world.  It may not have been the one who walks this planet, it may have been his higher self.  He may have dreamed me as my higher self, but he walked with me through my dreams and we have shared memories from the place I call the Castle dreams which he calls the Mansion..  We both remember the children playing there, we remember the mall inside the castle, and the magic room  in which our magical tools activate when our energy comes close to them.

She just told me that she is the weaver of my story, my Universe.. and I am to stay upon the path that she is weaving..  She is saying it is important that I stay inside the mathematics of her weaving, that if I allow my thoughts to stray from place to place that I will end up in some place I was not supposed to travel…  She said that she is the one who has been showing me the future all along and now she has shown me in the future I will see him as a Golden Eagle and that is where I am to travel.

She told me that he is in the healing chamber and she gave me a glimpse of what was to come but that it is not my destiny to see what happens to him while he is inside the healing chamber.

And with this I realize I have surrendered to this journey with the Grandmothers.. She said it is very important for me to not create the next part of my journey from a place of a sense of loss, but to follow the path she gives me to walk.

drean and deep space golden eagle sm Spider Grandmother Reminder

lessons from Spider Grandmother
June 29, 2013

A journey of Rainbow Twin Flame proportions:

drean and deep space spider grandmother

Once I made the journey to Spider Grandmother she began to weave her tale for me by stressing the point of perfection..  of mathematical equations and how they equal in the web of a universe..

She was also careful to state that there are many universes and each one is woven by a different Spider Grandmother.

And as she was weaving her story I saw that she was weaving my universe.  She smiled and informed that it took a mathematician to weave a universe and that not everyone could do this.

By this time she had woven a few lines in my universe.  I looked at the strand where we were standing, and down a connecting strand, in another Galaxy I saw my Twin Flame. He had already entered the Healing Chamber and was laying on his side holding his stomach and rocking in terror over the nightmare he was witnessing that he was there to be healed from….

That day I felt like I took on his pain, the pain of him laying there inside the Healing Chamber, my stomach hurt so frightfully it seemed it would be better to just throw up, and in the morning, when I awoke, I saw him open the door, saw him and his daughter and as they began to hug such tears poured forth that they both began to weep in their relief..

And then I found myself staring up at the sky to see a cloud that looked like a Golden Eagle was floating by and knew that everything is going to be ok.

drean and deep space golden eagle sm

To Love a man ~my new journey begins
June 28, 2013

To Love a man

To Love a man ♥

If you want to change the world Love a man; really love him Choose the one whose Soul calls to yours clearly who sees you; who is brave enough to be afraid  Accept his hand and guide him gently to your hearts blood Where he can feel your warmth upon him and rest there And burn his heavy load in your fires Look into his eyes look deep within and see what lies dormant or awake or shy or expectant there Look into his eyes and see there his fathers and grandfathers and all the wars and madness their spirits fought in some distant land, some distant time Look upon their pains and struggles and torments and guilt; without judgment And let it all go Feel into his ancestral burden And know that what he seeks is safe refuge in you Let him melt in your steady gaze And know that you need not mirror that rage Because you have a womb, a sweet, deep gateway to wash and renew old wounds

If you want to change the world Love a man, really love him Sit before him, in the full majesty of your woman in the breath of your vulnerability In the play of your child innocence in the depths of your death Flowering invitation, softly yielding, allowing his power as a man To step forward towards you…and swim in the Earth’s womb, in silent knowing, together And when he retreats…because he will…flees in fear to his cave…  Gather your grandmothers around you…envelope in their wisdoms  Hear their gentle shusshhhed whispers, calm your frightened girls’ heart Urging you to be still…and wait patiently for his return Sit and sing by his door, a song of remembrance, that he may be soothed, once more

If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him Do not coax out his little boy  With guiles and wiles and seduction and trickery Only to lure him…to a web of destruction To a place of chaos and hatred More terrible than any war fought by his brothers This is not feminine this is revenge This is the poison of the twisted lines Of the abuse of the ages, the rape of our world And this gives no power to woman it reduces her as she cuts off his balls And it kills us all And whether his mother held him or could not Show him the true mother now Hold him and guide him in your grace and your depth Smoldering in the center of the Earth’s core Do not punish him for his wounds that you think don’t meet your needs or criteria Cry for him sweet rivers Bleed it all back home If you want to change the world love a man, really love him Love him enough to be naked and free Love him enough to open your body and soul to the cycle of birth and of death And thank him for the opportunity As you dance together through the raging winds and silent woods Be brave enough to be fragile and let him drink in the soft, heady petals of your being Let him know he can hold you stand up and protect you Fall back into his arms and trust him to catch you Even if you’ve been dropped a thousand times before Teach him how to surrender by surrendering yourself And merge into the sweet nothing, of this worlds’ heart

If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him Encourage him, feed him, allow him, hear him, hold him, heal him And you, in turn, will be nourished and supported and protected By strong arms and clear thoughts and focused arrows Because he can, if you let him, be all that you dream


aspire to inspire

This morning I woke up thinking of this new path I have been taken to, thinking how I now stand on the edge of a new world and wondering where I was to go next.  A Rainbow Twin Flame Journey is like nothing one dreams of when they think of Love embracing them.  In the conventional way of thinking one does not think that “he or she” may need to follow  a path that is for their healing, and they may have to leave to travel somewhere else to go to find their healing..

I am the teacher.  I teach by experiencing, and sharing my experiences.   By sharing we grow, this is what the Earth tells me is the natural order.   So this morning I woke up, standing on the edge of a precipice making a leap of faith and wondering where to go next.

2EaglesWalmart110611_Destiny 062813

This is a new world and a new piece of paper has been given me on which to draw, and since the instructions are that I am go visit the Grandmothers I did a search with my search engine and discovered the first place we will be traveling to is Spider Grandmother..

so I leave you with this as our new journey begins:  from Wikipedia

“The Spider Grandmother is creator of the world in Southwestern Native American religions and myths such as that of the Pueblo and Navajo peoples. According to mythology, she was responsible for the stars in the sky, she took a web she had spun, laced it with dew, threw it into the sky and the dew became the stars.”

2EaglesWalmart110611_Destiny 062813 grandmother spider


(LOL    love and laughter, I do love a journey that sparkles with love, life and sacred dance   xxoxx  )


Where to next?
June 27, 2013

Where to next

I have never been one to hold onto the tears for long periods of time…  Before this journey with Lakota I was told that in the event of something happening like this I was to go spend time with the Grandmothers…  I found it in words to a piece called, “If you want to change the world, love a man.”

In the meantime I guess I will take my ship and head out across the seas in search of the Grandmothers to see what beautiful wisdom they bring to me..

Til later then…..

…. to Kundalini spinning so soft upon my journey ….


I did it for love
June 27, 2013

For love’s sake did I travel with him to place of his tears,

and pray for the time of his deep sorrow to come to an end..

I did it for lov 3

This Twin Flame Journey is like none I have ever experienced.  for 2 and a half years I have bore witness to his tears, to his deep grief over the loss of a connection with his children.

Yesterday I was feeling kind of weird and had to go have a look see to see what was going on… and I saw him, walking with steady determination in a torrent of tears back to his children…  and I saw his daughter weeping a torrent of tears in her longing for her father..

I do not know the journey ahead where it will lead, but what I know the most important thing I need to do now is to let him get back to his children and let his daughter get back to her daddy.

All children want to believe that their parents belong together, and grieve when they are apart.

and so,

my time with me Twin Rainbow Flame

it would appear

must become something else

and do not tell anyone about these tears.  He is the only man I have every known who did not treat me like I was a freak, but honored me in every path that I walked, and every person that I became he would sing to, and called me by every name that I was being called by at the time….

so do not tell anyone that I wept as I left the room…

the lovers song
June 26, 2013

softly you hold me


Like a galaxy you hold me

wrap your arms around me, you hold me



so softly you hold me

Haunting lyrics move so soft upon the heart
June 26, 2013

“If music be the food of love

then laughter is its queen

and likewise if behind is in front

then dirt in truth is clean

…My mouth by then like cardboard

seemed to slip straight through my head

So we crash-dived straightway quickly

and attacked the ocean bed”

  • “…She said, ‘I’m home on shore leave,’

    though in truth we were at sea

    so I took her by the looking glass

    and forced her to agree

    saying, ‘You must be the mermaid

    who took Neptune for a ride.’

    But she smiled at me so sadly

    that my anger straightway died”